


Reflections

by Burntcactii



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series), Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Dick Grayson's Bisexual Crisis, M/M, rated T bc Kyd has a vulgar mouth and so do I., tag for Daddy Issues(tm), unpopular opinion Kyd Is A Great Fighter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24922123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burntcactii/pseuds/Burntcactii
Summary: In truth, we're all just an edited copy of the people we look up to, the people we're raised by- quiet and predictable reflections of the past. But even solid reflections can be made dizzy and abstract by a single outlying hand, disrupting the flow- ushering in a new life entirely. Every wears a mask- maybe more. Robin's desperate for someone to destroy his.orKyd Wykkyd is an embodiment of everything Robin was raised to despise. But Dick Grayson is also so, so desperate for someone to just listen. And Elliot Knight's smiles seem so dangerously kind in the night.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Kyd Wykkyd, Kyd Wykkyd/Robin
Comments: 13
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

Robin felt ridiculous- out of place like a weed in a garden, here in this club. He’d needed a break from his team, just for a night, so he took this mission for himself. 

That was a mistake.

The music, the lights, the constant bumping into bodies was going to drive him up the wall. He couldn’t breathe, everything felt suffocating. 

So instead of actually scouring the club to find the perp he was supposed to, he ended up sweaty and slumped over the bar with his eyes crushed closed, trying to regain control over his body. He didn’t know what was wrong. Robin could dive off buildings, push through people with ease.

But he wasn’t Robin right now. He was Dick Grayson. Or, he was Dick at least. And he was no good at this vigilante stuff, just at hiding behind it. 

Everything felt too close, every time someone bumped against him he felt like he was going to puke from all the overload of smells, sounds, lights. He shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t _ be here- _

“Hey, are you okay?” Came a soft, concerned voice, and a cool hand on his shoulder, trying to steady him before he fell over completely. 

Robin finally looked up, still feeling gross and sweaty and out of control of his own body. 

The boy did look...genuinely concerned. From what Dick could tell, at least. Everything was still dizzy and spinning. The party lights bounced on and off the boy’s smooth skin like he were a living painting. His face was a Picasso of angular blues and pinks one second, then a vibrant yellow and green and purple, it was too much for Dick to try and focus on at once. His shaggy - black? Purple? Blue? - hair fell down to his shoulders and seem to slide down his skin like ink. His eyes - a deep, warm red - were deeply concerned. Maybe Dick was sicker than he felt.

“M’Fine.” He gurgled before burying his face back into his arms, feeling another wave of nausea coming on.

“C’mon,” the boy said softly, already swinging one of Dick’s arms over his shoulder to help him hobble through the crowd. “You’ve got sensory overload. Or too much to drink- but you don’t strike me as an alcoholic.” He tried to joke.

Dick wanted to curse and hit him for making him go through the crowd again, but it was easier like this. The cool, soft voice close to his ear blocked out a good bit of the music, and his skin seemed to cool down his own enough so he wasn’t completely overheated.

The minute they broke through the back exit into an alley with fresh air, Dick nearly completely fell over from relief. 

“Easy…” The boy warned as he set him to lean against the brick wall of the building.

For a few moments, Dick just sat there panting, letting his body get used to being normal again and staring up at the stars visible between the alley of two buildings. He was shocked when he let his head fall over to see the boy had stayed with him and was actually calling someone for him, probably a taxi.

“No-” Robin pathetically gurgled again, putting his hand over the boy’s phone before he could hit call. “I’m-” Dick forced himself to stand, using the leverage from the brick. “M’fine.” 

“You can’t seriously be thinking about going back in there.” The boy said lamely, glaring at him. Dick could get a better look now, that lights weren’t bouncing off him and skewing his vision. 

“Makeup?” Dick rasped, turning to lay his head on the cool brick and scrunch his eyes closed again just in case.

“For the party?” He elaborated. Currently, the boy who’d helped him had stark white skin like the moon, pointed ears sticking out of his hair that blended in well, with the black tints on them. And blood-colored eyes. 

Take out the contacts, the boy would probably be really pretty.

He already was really pretty, for a boy. Soft eyes, angular face, ballerina physique.

That was just his bat-training talking, he was trained to take in every aspect of a person as he met them. He just happened to be conventionally pretty by a definition standard, not by his own personal standard - obviously. 

“Makeup. Sure.” The boy gruffed, sad-sounding. Dick didn’t have the time or mentality to look into it like Robin would, pushing off the brick wall to stand on his own and finally open his eyes. 

He dramatically held his arms out and jutted his chin. “Good as new.”

The boy couldn’t help but snort and scrunch his eyes, hiding his soft laughter behind a hand.

“Look, I appreciate the help, really, but I’ve gotta go back in there. I can’t leave without- without some information.” He said seriously, looking everywhere but at the boy who was glaring again.

“...I’m coming with you then.” He said, leaving no room for argument and jutting his chin out the same as Dick.

“I- no, look, you’re very kind, but the guy I need to talk to is dangerous-”

“You don’t know that I’m not.” The boy rasped, still glaring. After a beat of intense silence and unbroken eye-contact, he finally spoke again. “Look, you’re meat in a sea of sharks here. You  _ reek _ gullible. You won’t get anywhere without someone to look after you and make sure you don’t go into overload again.”

The boy walked towards the door, knocking Dick with his shoulder on the way and getting centimeters from his face with a glare. “I’m  _ not _ asking permission. I won’t be the suspect for being the last person to see you alive if you get hurt in there. I’ve got enough problems.”

“Besides,” He said, opening the door for Dick with a cheshire grin, obviously baiting him. “Not everyday you get to save a damsel in distress.”

“I am  _ not _ a damsel in distress.” Dick hissed at him, standing in the doorway with him and centimeters from his unblinking poker face.

“Then you won’t mind me tagging along.” The boy demanded more than offered. 

There was an intense silence between them, standing so close together in the doorway that Dick could count the reflection of the lights- or maybe they were the stars? - in the boy’s eyes.

He needed a name. He couldn’t keep dehumanizing him into “the boy”- and even if Robin wanted to distance this new helping hand as much as possible…

Dick  _ liked _ him, a lot. He’d helped plenty enough to prove useful, not to mention Dick generally felt safer with a safety net instead of doing this whole mission on his own.

He was too... _ nice _ , to not put a name to his face. His smiles were kind. His touches were gentle. 

He really did just want to help. There was no way he could have guessed he was Robin, no ulterior motive behind it. 

“Name.” Dick grunted jerkily.

How very poetic of him, really. To return the boy’s kindness with demands and argument at every turn.

Dick found he’d forgive himself, since it got another snort out of the boy and a small smile.

“I’m Elliot. You?”

Elliot. It was unique. Bookish names tended to give a person bookish expectations about a person-

“Don’t pretend to care. You won’t remember who I am after you get your information and bolt.” Elliot said with a lame sigh, glaring at the wall behind Dick’s head. “I just don’t have anything better to do, I guess. Fucking  _ Jaya _ left me here, might as well find some entertainment.”

Dick found he really didn’t like the permafrown on Elliot’s face as he sighed and kicked a rock to the other side of the alley with his boots.

“...Richard.” Dick said before realizing his slip-up. “Er- Dick! My friends...call me Dick.” How could he have let his full name slip like that? He was getting too comfortable around Elliot already.

Elliot was easy to be comfortable around. There was no judgment in his eyes, no expectation. Elliot didn’t know him as Robin the Teen Titan, or Dick Grayson the Wayne heir- just Richard. It was relieving. He was just-

“Well,  _ Dickie _ -” Elliot said, interrupting his thoughts with a teasing smirk while Dick grimaced at the nickname. “I say we get a move on before your  _ perp _ turns tail and you miss him completely.” 

“Right.” Dick said, immediately business. He pulled out a picture of the guy to show Elliot before Elliot went wide eyed and sharply gasped. 

“You’re going after- him?  _ Johnny Rancid? _ You  _ know _ he’s like, thrice your size- can and  _ will _ beat you to death, yeah? No wonder you needed a bodyguard so bad, short stack.” 

“And you  _ know _ we’re the  _ same height _ give or take a couple inches of  _ ego, yeah? _ ” Robin seethed, not being able to help but to smile and get back to being inches from Elliot’s face to prove his point.

He couldn’t help it. Elliot made him feel like a teenager again. A normal one at least. Elliot wasn’t afraid to make fun of him, or outrightly argue with him, or even threaten him. He was just another person. It was... _ fun, _ being just another teenager in an alley with a pretty stranger he just met. 

“Eh, you’re short in  _ personality _ though- totally makes up for it.” Elliot mocked, grinning again and already leading him through the crowd by his wrist.

Elliot was probably a good pick to let tag along. He maneuvered the place like an expert and spotted Rancid out of the crowd almost immediately. 

Dick  _ really _ could have gone with a more subtle approach, but Elliot strided right up to him and sat next to him in the hidden corner booth and stole a fry off his plate, earning a glare but not much else.

“You, uh- know each other?” Dick said, keeping his cap low to try and cover his face from Rancid after he finally caught up to Elliot, who’d bounded ahead of him.

He was fast. A runner, maybe.

“Something like that. Friend of a friend, you know.” Elliot said through his food.

“You know this guy?” Dick said, trying to avoid eye contact with Johnny while holding another photo up.

“ _ Tommy _ ? What do  _ you  _ want with him?” Johnny said defensively all of a sudden.

Elliot snorted. “ _ Tommy? _ ” 

“I- we used to- shut up, cat brat!” Johnny yelled at Kyd, red faced as he shoved Kyd off the booth and to the ground just before Dick caught him. 

“Hey-  _ watch it _ !” Dick yelled defensive all of a sudden, shoving Johnny back and further into his seat in retaliation.

“Take it easy, I’m fine.” Elliot gruffed, trying to pull him back by his arm but also cradling where he’d fallen on his other shoulder. There really wasn’t a need for Dick to get so defensive. It was just a shove. He was level headed, he was calm, he was a strategist-

“Yeah, listen to your boyfriend,  _ kid _ .” That crossed a line. Robin didn’t know what he was more heated by- the boyfriend bit or the kid bit, but probably both, with how red his face was as he clocked Johnny full force across his jaw as Elliot gaped and angrily tried to yank him back. 

Johnny recovered easy, growling at Dick before lunging. Dick just barely saw Elliot glide a hand over the edge of the table before punching it down at just the right second, sending the edge closer to Johnny straight into his gut. 

“You just keep making this night more and more interesting!” Elliot yelled sarcastically as he gripped Dick’s wrist and bolted while Johnny was distractedly clutching his gut. 

“Where are we going?” Dick yelled, frantically trying not to lose Elliot in the crowd as he twisted and turned and spun around people. 

“Don’t know!” Elliot yelled back with fake cheer, throwing up two double doors and bolting down the following carpet hallway with Dick in tow. 

There was finally a fork in their path, left or right down the hallway as Elliot stopped to think and Dick came with heaving breaths behind him.

“How are you- so fast-?” 

“Spend a lotta time running from dickheads who shove  _ bigger _ dickheads into tables.” Elliot griped, glaring down both hallways and trying to think.

Robin was just about to say something like ‘ _ why are we still running’ _ when the very distinct sound of Johnny throwing the doors open behind them and yelling in their general direction snapped both of their attention to a halt. 

“Go down that way, it’s got an elevator- I’ll distract him up the stairs!” Elliot demanded as if this were  _ his  _ mission now and Dick was just a side character.

Robin found he liked not being the only person in a leadership position.

Dick ran to momentarily hide in the elevator just as Johnny rounded the corner, making a split decision that Dick would’ve already started his trip to another floor, and bursting through the door to the stairs after Elliot instead. As soon as Johnny made it through the door, Dick ran out of the elevator to catch up to Johnny, determined not to leave Elliot to take him alone.

“Come here Kyddie Kyddie- I just wanna throttle you so I can get a good punch or two in on your boyfriend.” Johnny growled, mostly to himself, as he rapidly climbed the white stairs and scowled, listening intently for any echoes of another set of prints. 

Robin was just about to come up behind Johnny when Elliot seemed to spring up out of nowhere, flipped by the side railing from somewhere under the stairs to land a kick- shoving Johnny back to trip down the stairs some. 

“Real mature, Johnny. Would you just calm down? This is all a misunderstanding-” Elliot tried, holding his hands up in surrender as he approached Johnny slowly.

“What I  _ understand _ is that your new  _ boy toy _ clocked me in the jaw then you shoved a table in my stomach and kicked me down the stairs out of nowhere! You’re  _ dead _ ya little imp!” Kyd froze as Johnny charged at him filled with rage, and Dick felt himself let out a breath of relief as he narrowly dodged Johnny, impossibly balancing on the rail of the stairs as Johnny ended up charging past him. 

Elliot jumped up and grabbed the railing of the bottom of the next flight of stairs, using it to swing himself closer to Johnny and land all of his weight square into his back, pressing his knees into Johnny’s elbows painfully to pin him down.

“Do  _ not _ call him that!” Elliot practically hissed, grabbing Johnny by his hair and lifting his face up to scowl at him after giving it a good shove once into the floor. 

_ Finally _ the door Dick had entered throw echoed with a deep slam as Elliot seemed to snap out of his angry reverie and stare at him wide eyed. 

“I just- I was coming to help but-” Dick jogged over to where he had a still squirming and hair leashed Johnny trapped under him. “You’ve got it under- I mean-”

“You were incredible.” Dick breathed, gaping. Elliot practically seemed to melt, chuckling nervously under Dick’s amazed stare.

The moment was ruined by Johnny making over exaggerated puking noises beneath them. 

“Oh- shut up and tell us what you know about Punk Rocket, Jonathan.” Elliot growled, forcing more of his weight into Johnny’s elbows. 

“Hey, easy on the full name, yeah?” Johnny whined.

Elliot grinned like a cheshire at Dick again. “Wanna know his full name?” 

“I mean- yeah?” Dick responded lamely. 

“Elliot’s middle name is Leslie!” Johnny yelled at the top of his lungs before Elliot could finish, making him go a bright red.

“That’s it!” Elliot yelled back, aiming a punch right for Johnny’s neck before they heard a loud bang of the first floor stair doors opening again.

“Get them- I’ve got Johnny!” Yelled a girl who looked suspiciously like Blackfire. 

“Running again!” Elliot chimed as he grabbed Dick’s wrist and took off up the stairs.

Cheshire and Private HIVE were gaining fast, though.

“You’re too slow!” Elliot yell-whined at Dick before finally launching at a stair pillar, turning himself around on it and launching back at Cheshire, hands going for her mask before landing delicately on the stair railing again and immediately throwing it down the many flights of stairs for her to yell and lunge downward for.

Dick had his fun with Private HIVE before Elliot also seemed to make quick work of him, sweeping his feet out from under him and shoving Dick forward to get him running again while Private was down. 

“You’re- amazing-!” Dick couldn’t help but laugh to Elliot as they climbed endless stairs. Dick pretended not to notice the wide, proud grin on Elliot’s face.

Finally they broke through the very last door labeled ‘Emergency Exit: Roof’, practically falling over each other to get through it before Dick lifted a piece of nearby wood to block it, finally giving them a moment to breathe, slumped over the door and heaving for breath.

“Dammit!” Dick yelled kicking at the door. “I don’t have any evidence- any info- this entire mission was a waste of-”

Dick was cut short by a small black box Elliot held up, still leaning his weight on his knees as he caught his breath but smiling all the same.

“You- you got-”

“Johnny Rancid’s phone.” Elliot smirked, oozing with pride as he handed it to Dick, who made work of the lock on it. 

Turns out picking a lock made by a master in both tech and welding was harder than usual, especially without his usual tools. Eventually the two came to a comfortable silence, sitting on the rooftop of the hidden club. Dick would let out a frustrated grunt or two as he bent over the small phone, but it was overall silence. They were so high up it was like the city was a completely different plane of existence. 

It was just them.

Dick couldn’t help but stare at Elliot when he thought Elliot wasn’t paying attention. Elliot was sitting with his knee to his chest, otherwise completely relaxed. He had his face tilted to the sky, his eyes closed, just feeling the soft wind blow against his face. He looked so serene. No blaring lights against his face, no angry scowl. He looked soft.

He was beautiful.

Dick didn’t like the train of thought he was going down, so he couldn’t help but break the sweet silence. 

“So... _ Leslie _ ?” Dick said awkwardly, smiling slyly over to Elliot, who’s entire body jerked as he hissed defensively at Dick.

“I  _ will  _ throw you off of this roof and it  _ will  _ hurt. Do not think you can test me just because you made some cute comment in the alley.” Elliot practically spit. Dick couldn’t help but snort a laugh, and Elliot joined in after a bit, though it was softer. 

“...You think I’m cute?” Dick teased after some more comfortable silence.

“You’re unbearable.” Elliot scoffed. “It’s been nearly twenty minutes, do you still not have that thing picked yet?”

“It’s a  _ very delicate _ process, El, you can’t spartan kick your way through everything.” Dick teased, all attention on the phone.

“El?” Elliot glared for a moment.

Robin blanched. “Erm- sorry, I just. It’s easy to get comfortable around you, I guess, it just slipped out. It won’t-”

“I like you too.” Elliot said whisper soft, staring down at the city.

Dick couldn’t tell if Elliot was blushing or if it was the reflection of a street sign or general city light on his face, but he hoped he was.

“Don’t know why, you’re not worth all the trouble you get into in just under half an hour.” Elliot teased, leaning back to nudge Dick playfully and smile again. 

Dick chuckled warmly, the phone all but forgotten. 

This was...new. He didn’t let people get close. He certainly didn’t let people he just met get close enough to touch him,  _ lean on him _ . Elliot could steal his T-communicator, he could pull out a weapon, he could shove him off the roof.

It was new, and scary, and Dick had this bubbly feeling rising in his chest. But it was also nice, and he couldn’t find it in him to overanalyze or back away or anything.

“Don’t ask me why I like you so much, I just do.” Elliot murmured, somber. “You’re dumb. In a good way.” Elliot smirked, tugging a loose piece of hair falling into Dick’s face. 

Dick knew why he liked Elliot so much already. Elliot didn’t know a  _ thing  _ about Dick. He didn’t expect this all natural leader from Robin. He didn’t expect this playboy personality from Richard Grayson. Dick was just some loser Elliot took pity on in a bar. Elliot gave Dick a clean slate. There was absolutely no pressure. Elliot didn’t even bother to ask  _ why _ Dick needed the information he did. He just ran headlong into helping Dick anyway.

“Glad to know I’m amusing.” Dick choked, staring at Elliot like he were the stars.

The way his pale skin glowed against the moonlight, he may as well have been one.

Elliot awkwardly coughed and tensed up again, blushing and looking away when he caught Dick staring again, moving to stand on the railing of the building, balanced only on his shoes.

Dick knew the feeling.

This feeling was new. The comfort- the  _ ease _ that should’ve come with being around anyone, but only came with being around this one person they met on happenstance. It _ made _ standing on the hair of a railing feel safer than being that close.

It didn’t mean anything.

But the bubbling, gurgling feeling in his gut didn’t care about that.

“I’ll-” Elliot began giving Dick a strange, hard look before he seemed to melt, making a split second decision.

He gave Dick a smile so soft Dick never expected it to come from someone he’d just watched give  _ Johnny Rancid _ a bloody nose. 

“I’ll see you around, Richie.” Elliot teased one last time before shoving his fists in his jacket pockets and letting his weight fall, freefalling with a smile off the roof.

“EL!” Robin couldn’t help but scream, reaching out and bolting to the railing, only to see the familiar mist left behind from someone teleporting.

_ Crazy night.  _


	2. Chapter 2

Robin didn’t know why, but he kept taking solo missions after that. It’d been nearly two weeks since he last saw Elliot Knight, his sly cheshire smile, or the thin mist left behind when he seemed to vanish into thin air.

He was starting to wonder if Elliot had even existed at all, if that entire night had been some crazy fever dream.

So why was Robin  _ steadily _ taking on more solo missions, all similar to the one he’d met Elliot on? Some part of him was desperate to see him again, and knew they’d only  _ really _ find each other if Elliot wanted to as well, or if they just happened to bump into each other again. 

It’d been two weeks but Dick still couldn’t get that night out of his head- the adrenaline, the freedom of being perfectly synced with someone he was working with, the weight off his shoulders of not having to  _ worry _ about someone else’s well-being- about  _ his _ well-being being taken care of.

The softest he’d ever felt watching someone just smile at the sky, the echoing, warm laughter, the kindest smile he’d seen in a long time, highlighted by the moon behind him. 

This was getting  _ ridiculous _ if he were being honest. It was a chance meeting, nothing else. Statistically, he’d really never see Elliot again, so it’d do him good to just move on with his life and forget about him.

That’s what Robin had done his entire life, what was logical, what was reasonable, what was strategically right.

So why, this one time, was he shoving down that voice that had screamed in his head his whole life? Elliot represented pure spontaneity- pure chaos. 

Dick shook his head of his thoughts, clearing his mind before he turned to go into an abandoned warehouse in the middle of seemingly nowhere.

This was suspicious already. He shouldn’t have come alone. But he couldn’t dare tell his team about what this mission was for, they’d be terrified, they’d look to him, they’d expect an answer-

He couldn’t take any  _ more _ pressure right now.

The warehouse was seemingly empty, but there were a million flanking positions to easily take Dick down once he got to the center. He didn’t like this at all. 

Dick was just about to call out for Atlas- who he’d agreed to meet here - when a distinct, nearly familiar bundle of noise came behind a door leading to the warehouse to the right. A struggle- lots of grunts and kicking and angry-scared yellings of ‘let me go!’ and ‘I’ll give you a real fight if that’s what you’re after!’ that echoed hauntingly through the room.

That last growly yell was all too familiar. 

Dick sprinted to the door only to be blocked by Atlas’ large frame, looking down at him expectantly. 

“That is  _ not _ the business you came for. I believe we have negotiations to discuss.” He boomed, not even moving his head to look down at Dick.

Something wasn’t right. That wasn’t Atlas’ normal speech patterns, and his eyes seemed almost- dazed, or as dazed as they could get for the eyes of a robot. 

“We’ll discuss  _ negotiations _ after you let my friend go.” Dick growled lowly, hands clenching the longer he stood there and the louder Elliot’s grunts of struggle seemed to get. 

“Irrelevant, your friend has nothing to do with-”

“It’s very relevant, considering from my perspective  _ you’ve  _ got plenty to do with the abductions and disappearances lately!” Dick boomed, just as loud as Atlas himself. “Let my friend go, or I hold you accountable as a prime suspect for  _ every _ disappearance I’ve come across since this whole thing started.” he seethed.

Wrong move.

Atlas’ eyes dulled into a single color, and he balled his two fists to bring them down on Dick. 

There was something wrong with Atlas still, though. He was slower than usual, like a zombie. Dick easily ducked out of the way and sprinted under Atlas’ feet, kicking open the door to the next warehouse to find Elliot struggling against a group of lackeys trying to tie him to a table. 

He looked  _ awful _ . They’d probably roughed him up trying to get him here, not to mentioned the striking sudden realization that, yeah, that was just what Elliot looked like. Not makeup, like the dumb, insensitive comment Dick had made earlier, that he now realized. 

Dick made quick work of at least managing to shove and kick the men away from Elliot with enough time to cut him out of his bonds, all while Elliot seemed to be frozen, staring wide eyed at him.

“ _ Richie? _ ” Elliot gasped disbelievingly as Dick flipped the table on its side and yanked Elliot down to hide behind it with him in case of oncoming fire.

“ _ Dick _ .” Dick sighed, frustrated at the nickname still. 

“What are you...doing here- how did you know I was-” Elliot seemed to ask all at once, finally snapping from his surprised reverie before being interrupted by the angry echoes of gunfire against the steel table, sending sound bouncing throughout the large warehouse. “ _ Why _ are people trying to kill you everywhere you go!” Elliot yelled exasperatedly more than asked.

“I could be asking you the same thing, jackass!” Dick laughed good naturedly. Even with gunfire popping above their heads, it was so easy and so, so relieving to already set into a rhythm with Elliot. 

“Dickie, dickie, that’s not a very nice word!” Elliot teased back, peeking around the table to try and gauge the situation. He only got a glimpse before a too-close round sent him hiding behind the table again. 

“Okay, there are around fifteen guys here, they don’t have much of a formation. They’re pretty dumb from what I could tell, and only about half of them is armed-” Elliot listed, already drawing in the dust of the floor to show Dick a plan.

“Atlas was in the other room, I evaded him but he’ll be here any second too.” Dick chimed in. 

“What do you  _ mean _ \-  _ ATLAS is here  _ too!” Elliot shrilled with palpable frustration. 

“Calm down-” Dick said, peeking over the opposite end of the table to try and gauge the situation himself. “He was slow- there’s something wrong with him. We can take him together if we take out the little guys then focus on him last, wear him out by evading him some.” 

“Yeah,  _ Dickhead _ , ‘WE’!” Elliot shrilled again, popping the back of Dick’s head to get his attention again. “What were you  _ thinking _ running into a situation like this alone! If I weren’t here you’d have been beaten to a pulp-!”

“I was thinking about  _ YOU! _ ” Dick angrily shrilled back over the noise before he realized what he said. “ _ You- your-  _ your  _ safety _ \- I was just, trying to-” Dick stammered red faced as Elliot looked at him confused.

“I don’t have time for this! Come on!” Elliot yelled, grabbing Dick by his wrist and bolting to a set of two pillars they could hide behind while the men reloaded. 

“You’re right- they are dumb. Trained men would’ve known to reload separately.” Dick commented, glaring at the men for any idea where to start.

“I told you, they’re hopeless. Probably some thugs Atlas picked up off the streets.” Elliot smiled back.

“ _ Hey- _ ” He whisper-yelled, glaring venomously at Dick again. “Do  _ not _ get me off-topic! You would’ve been killed!”

“I’m just trying to do what’s right! At least  _ I  _ wasn’t the damsel in distress here!” Dick whisper-yelled back, trying not to give away their location.

“Oh you do _not_ get to pull the damsel card with _me,_ _vomit boy_!” Elliot hissed.

“I can’t believe I actually missed you, you can be  _ such a- _ ” Dick stopped mid-sentence, listening intently.

“No, I want you to finish! I can be such a  _ what _ , Richard?” Elliot hissed.

“Shh-!” Robin said shortly as Elliot gaped.

“Don’t- Don’t  _ shush _ me!” Elliot hissed again. 

“ _ Shh!  _ Listen!” Dick urged. 

The thundering, echoing footsteps of Atlas came barrelling down the warehouse doors all at seemingly once as the armed men simply went into a similar daze that Atlas himself was in. 

“What’s…?”

“Not sure.” Dick finished for him. Like I said,  _ something  _ is-” 

All of Elliot’s attention was on Dick, and he didn’t notice the large barrel launched like a rocket towards him by Atlas. Dick dove toward Elliot shoving them both out of the way but back right to where they started behind the table. 

“Great- fantastic!” Dick grumbled to himself, hurriedly getting up from where he’d fallen basically on top of Elliot. 

“Do you trust me?” Elliot asked, blocking out all other noise. Dick gaped at him for a moment.

“ _ Do you-”  _ Elliot stressed, grabbing Dick’s wrist desperately. “- _ trust me?” _

Dick barely knew Elliot. Elliot could’ve been anyone, he could’ve set this whole thing up.

But that determined, desperate, knowing look in his eyes said  _ yeah, _ he did trust Elliot.

With a sure nod of his head and a surprise gape when Elliot practically slammed their bodies together and enveloped them in a suffocating mist, Dick was suddenly mid air above Atlas without Atlas even seeming to realize. 

Dick and Elliot were almost immediately synched once again, seeming to read each others movements and near minds as if they’d fought side by side for years. They covered each other’s weaknesses, played off each other’s strengths.

Dick twisted around midair to land a full body weighted kick against the steel giant’s shoulder, knocking him off balance and sending him stumbling before Dick bounced backwards off where he’d landed and stumbled a bit to cushion his fall. Elliot in the meantime had latched himself onto Atlas’ neck by his legs - what would have been a near choke hold had the robot the need to breathe - as Elliot violently and near ferally slashed and tore and ripped at the bot’s head with his hands as if they were claws.

They may as well have been, with how easily Elliot slashed through the metal with effort and continued to slash and yank wildly on whatever wires he could hold on to, all while growling and yelling with the effort as if he were an animal.

Atlas was failing, now. His movements were growing slower and jerkier if that was possible. Soon Elliot would land on the right cord and he’d fall completely with a final circuit-

Dick panicked as a blue shock of electricity ran through Atlas, his eyes going black and his entire body jerking wildly. Instead of falling gracefully to his defeat, his body was now going completely haywire, running full force at walls to send debris raining down, knocking the wind out of Elliot by slamming his back against walls, moving completely too unpredictably for much to be done. 

The entire warehouse was going to collapse on them soon. 

“Jump!” Dick yelled, already sprinting to a hole Atlas had created in the wall to get out. “You have to jump!”

Dick had seen Elliot confident, annoyed, dreamy, but not afraid. Not  _ terrified _ . Elliot looked like he were near hyperventilation in between so many near death experiences in one day.

Dick stood his ground from right in the middle of the makeshift doorway. He wouldn’t leave without Elliot. “Do you trust me?” Robin yelled, standing stock still.  _ That _ got Elliot’s attention. Elliot took one last breath and scrunched his eyes closed so hard that Dick guessed he may have very well been fighting tears, before he launched himself off Atlas and to the ground. 

Elliot hit Dick with not only enough force to knock the breath out of him, but to also send them both tumbling through the holed wall and just out of danger as the entire building collapsed around Atlas, forming him his own personal prison and sending dust and debris blowing all around them. 

Almost before Dick could even catch his breath again, Elliot was sitting up practically on his lap and laughing hysterically.

“We’re  _ alive!”  _ He near squealed maniacally before continuing in a sing-song voice. “We’re alive- we’re alive- we’re-!” Elliot froze, glaring down at Dick again, who was giving him a dopey, teasing smile. 

“ _ What  _ was  _ that _ ? We could’ve died- you could’ve  _ killed us _ \- you just told me to  _ jump _ from  _ thirty feet in the air- _ ”

Dick thumped his head against the ground, sighing, still electing to ignore the very real weight of Elliot not having moved off him yet. “Would you  _ please _ decide whether you’re happy to see me or not?”

Elliot rolled his eyes and sighed, grabbing Dick by the shoulders and lifting him into sitting position to give him a hug, which  _ more _ than surprised Dick, freezing at the contact. 

“I  _ am _ ...happy, to see you again,  _ Dickhead _ .” Dick could feel Elliot’s smile through only his words.

“I am  _ not _ , however, happy to see us both almost killed like- almost eight times!” Elliot berated again, pulling away and glaring.

“You’re so dramatic, it was four times  _ tops. _ ” Dick grumbled, moving out from under Elliot to stand up.

Dick couldn’t help but to snort at the two of them. Elliot still had the bumps and bruises from whatever Atlas’ guys did to get him here, on top of them both donning matching battle scars from scraping across the pavement and all else they did, on  _ top _ of dust and dirt caking them nearly head to toe. Elliot grumbled and griped to himself as he frustratedly tried to rake a hand through his hair, bat out his worn clothes, and smudge dirt off his face all at once.

Dust and blood and bruises had never been such a good look on a person.

Dick ignored that thought as he teasily laughed at Elliot, who’d only succeeded in smudging dust  _ further _ into his pale face and was now pout-glaring at Dick for mocking him in his time of despair. 

“You’re ridiculous.” Dick said, yanking his jacket inside-out to wrap around Elliot, if only so he’d stop worrying his appearance so much. 

“...thanks.” Elliot said bashfully, gripping the insides of the heavy jacket and wrapping himself tighter in it. Only then did Dick understand the implications of it, mumbling and turning away. 

They walked out of the warehouse debris in relative silence, half comfortable and half palpably tense. 

Elliot finally spoke as they got to the sidewalk. 

“So, well, what- what was that, back there?” Elliot croaked, ignoring the confused and flabbergasted glances they both got as they walked through the streets of jump bloody and covered in dirt. Several women gasped in horror at their appearances, while others were simply put off by Elliot in general.

“I- I don’t-” Dick sighed, closing his eyes. “I don’t know why I did that, okay? You just- you were in trouble, I lost sight of the mission- I know-, you were all that mattered, suddenly, for some stupid reason.” 

“You tend to have that effect on people, I think.” Dick finished, still with his eyes closed.

“That’s... _ sweet. _ ” Elliot said warmly. “But- I meant you swiping  _ Robin’s birdarang _ , that’s crazy! Can I see it?” 

Right. In Dick’s clever bat training, he completely overlooked that he’d cut Elliot out of his bonds with one of his signature weapons. And of  _ course _ Elliot remembered clear as day. 

“I-” There really was no way out of this. What was he supposed to do? Say ‘no’? Even if logic stood that he could say that without seeming suspicious...Elliot was getting harder and harder to remain logical around. 

“Don’t break it, okay?” Dick pleaded with a sigh, forking the colorful tool over. 

Elliot looked like a kid in a candy store, tracing his fingers around every edge of the instrument as if he were testing it’s sharpness. 

“Hey, how did you know where I was, anyway? You a stalker?” Elliot goaded, making Dick flare red.

“I’m- I wasn’t  _ stalking you _ !” Dick shrilled. “I just- I-” 

Dick sighed in defeat for the near hundredth time that day. “I actually had no idea you were there, if you can believe it. I just...saw you in danger and...lost it. I was there to negotiate with Atlas for more information on a new perp.” Dick grumped, trying to ignore Elliot’s teasing smile.

“ _ You care about me! _ ” Elliot teased in a songy voice as if he were a toddler and poking Dick's forehead.

“Well, what were  _ you _ doing there, then?” Dick shot back while smacking Elliot's hand away, relishing how Elliot froze and stilled his annoying singing. 

“I- Well I was- I was working on-” Elliot gave a similar sigh to Dick’s and looked to the ground. “I was...looking for  _ you. _ I haven’t been able to stop... _ thinking _ since we saw each other last and I thought if I could find you I could just go back to being  _ me _ and not...worrying about  _ you _ . I kinda just kept…-”

“Throwing yourself into dangerous situations?” Dick guessed, smiling when Elliot gave a sheepish grin. “Guess we’re...in the same boat.”

“...Yeah? You...meant to find me, then?” Elliot said, looking away, kicking a rock off the pier they were crossing. How long had they been walking side by side? It was getting too easy to lose track of time around Elliot, too. 

“...Yeah. You’re kinda hard to forget.” Dick said, equally as embarrassed. “What with all the near death fighting and the magic disappearing you tend to do all the time.”

They stopped together, still dirty and beat in front of a ferry that Robin would eventually take to get to the Titan’s island. 

“I...guess we...say goodbye, again.” Dick sighed sadly. He _liked_ being around Elliot. He _liked_ _Elliot_. When he went home...he was Robin again. The leader, the stress freak, the carrier of all the weight of the city. 

“No. We’ll see each other again.” Elliot said simply, but much more powerfully than last time. 

“Oh?” Dick smiled at him. 

“Yeah. I’ll find you.” Elliot said simply again. “And don’t tell anyone I’m being this nice to you, ‘kay? I've still got a reputation, as much as you try to ruin it.” He teased, slipping a single circular device into Dick’s pocket.

Dick was halfway across the water on the ferry when he allowed himself to inspect it. It was a homing device, something implanted on Atlas’ neck-  _ someone was controlling him the whole time _ . This was completely invaluable information in his case. 

On the device, over the giant Amanda Waller symbol, was messy black writing.

_ Trade is a trade. Get your toy back when I find you again. _ Dick could barely make out through the scratchy black handwriting. 

Dick was left confused by this until he hit the island and realized with a start and panicked sweeping of all his pockets that yes, he’d made it with vital evidence.

And Elliot had made it with his favorite birdarang  _ and _ his good jacket. 

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

This stakeout was going to kill Dick, he was sure of it.  _ Apparently _ there was going to be sighting of a wanted assassin in the subways of Jump at some point tonight.

A trained, professional assassin was going to just jump out at Robin in the pitch dark of the subway and wave his hands like a mime. 

Robin knew already this was just another dumb busy-mission from Bruce if only to keep him quiet. It infuriated him. 

He'd been laying stomach down under an out of order subway for  _ hours _ . He was dirty, and tired, and hungry-

"Oh heeeey Dickard!" Elliot said cheerily, hanging upside down from the subway and peeking his head directly into Dick's binoculars, scaring the daylights out of him and making him jump so hard he hit his head painfully on the bottom of the subway and groaned. 

"What? No dice on the nickname? Yeah, I didn't like it very much either." Elliot said casually, sighing and shaking his head mournfully as if he weren't hanging upside down from the subway's stop rail with his inky hair just barely slinking into Dick's face. 

Dick mumbled something noncommitedly about nicknames and bat training and vampires as Elliot gingerly placed his hands flat on the ground and did a complicated looking twirling trick to land himself right side up again, squatting down to smirk at Dick teasingly.

"Thought you weren't a stalker." He goaded, laying his chin on his hand.

"I'm  _ not _ ." Dick growled, still running his sore head and getting frustrated he couldn't take off his shades in front of Elliot, who he could only scarcely see in the dim light.

"A pair of binoculars and a  _ very _ suspicious hiding place say otherwise." Elliot grunted, moving to slide and shove Dick around a bit until they were both laying stomach down, side by side between the tracks and the gross subway train. 

Dick gave Elliot a glare-gape for a moment.

" _ What _ are you  _ doing _ ?" Dick seethed, trying to sound as annoyed as possible.

"Looking for attention." Elliot goaded, holding his head up with both his hands and teasingly pouting at Dick, who snorted and swatted at him, making them both laugh. 

"Who are you even stalking?" Elliot said, snatching the binoculars that we're still hooked around Dick's neck. "The McDonald's counter guy?" 

"Oh, give me a break would you?" Dick pleaded with a crack in his voice, snatching the binoculars back. "I've been down here all night, I'm starving!"

"Right. And you're saddled down here in the dirt of a subway because you are…  _ most definitely not  _ a stalker." Elliot said slyly.

"I'm working on a case, okay?" Dick said before freezing. "I'm- my dad is- a cop! And he's not as bright as he thinks sometimes. So I help." He covered quickly, answering honestly about his dad. 

"Hmph." Elliot huffed, seeming bored again already. Eventually he found entertainment in flicking rocks and debris out from under the subway and rhythmically stomping his feet against the ground. 

"Okay, you've officially bored me to death." Elliot griped, flicking Dick's binoculars to get his attention. "Oh!" Elliot said, excitedly looking towards the still open McDonald's in the subway. "Let's steal some food!" 

Dick froze. Elliot couldn't be serious. He was just trying to get under Dick's skin again. 

Elliot had already scrambled out from under the subway train and was now walking calmly toward the dimly lit fast food place before Dick managed to un-freeze himself.

“ _ What are you doing? _ ” Dick seethed, gripping Elliot hard by the shoulders once he caught up to him.

“Um, eating? I’m hungry. And bored.” Elliot answered simply, barely reacting at all to Dick’s near death grip. 

“You’d throw away your life record for-  _ Mcdonald’s. _ ” Dick stuttered uselessly as Elliot rolled his eyes and slapped his hands away.

“I mean, not Mcdonald’s specifically- also, I mean. I’m bored. You’ve never just been bored and decided to just-  _ do _ something?” Elliot asked. 

“Nevermind.” Elliot said before Dick could answer, giving him a look up and down. “Of course you haven’t, daddy’s boy.” 

“ _ Don’t _ call me that!” Dick practically roared, startling Elliot a bit and sending him backing away before Dick realized how enraged he sounded and how  _ scared _ Elliot looked in that quick moment, almost immediately defending into a fighting position like a cornered animal.

"I- sorry... _ sorry _ ." dick sighed, guilty as Elliot slowly relaxed again and turned away, thinking. 

"...that bad?" Elliot echoed, eyes filled with worry. 

"No! No, I just- I don't-  _ we _ -" dick sighed, pinching his temples. Can't they have just gone back to having fun again? That's what this was about - fun. Letting go. If dick had problems, they were  _ Dick's problems _ , not Elliot's. Elliot wasn't his therapist or his self help coach, he couldn't expect anything from him-

"Come on." Elliot said simply, dragging Dick out of the subway by his wrist. It was getting harder and harder to spiral into a vortex of his own thoughts around Elliot. That probably meant Elliot was a good influence.

Elliot Knight, the  _ good influence. _ It was laughable. 

“Where are we going?” Dick demanded.

“Well, if it’s your first time stealing food from a corrupted corporate disease, I’m gonna make sure it’s a good experience.” Elliot said slyly. 

“So you’re... _ not _ stealing from Mcdonald’s?” Dick clarified, still worried where this night would head.

“Nope!  _ We’re _ stealing from that gas station with the great slushie flavors down 3rd street!” he chirped happily, already sprinting to get up the stairs. 

“Uhh-” Dick stammered, yanking his hand away and backing up from Elliot and back into the shadows of the underground subway station. “No  _ we’re _ not! Bruce left me in charge of this case- I can’t let him down, let everyone down! I have to stay here, stay put, and stay alert for a lead so that he doesn’t  _ blow up _ on me all over again-”

“Just leave a live cam.” Elliot said simply, breaking through Dick’s spiraling ramble like nothing.

“...What?” Dick said dumbly, glaring at him.

“Just leave a live camera where you were stationed. Connect the camera to your phone. Check the live feed every now and then.” Elliot clarified, blinking at him like he was the dumbest person in the world. At the moment he felt like it. 

Dick stared at where his binoculars had been left, uneasy. “I- I...I told Bruce I wouldn’t-” 

“You would  _ really _ rather sit down in that dirty hole  _ all night _ just to get out of being yelled at for- what? Fifteen minutes?” Elliot laughed mirthlessly. He sighed sadly. “This isn’t  _ his _ life, Dick. It’s  _ yours _ . And…” Elliot sighed again, walking up to Dick and leaning all of his weight into a hug, surprising him. “You  _ need _ a  _ break _ . I haven’t even...been around at all times of the day, but even the times I am you’re  _ so close _ to breaking. It’s scary, okay?” 

“Don’t tell anyone,” Elliot whispered, a smile evident in his voice. “But I  _ do _ care about you.”

“I won’t drag you- not this time.” Elliot said after separating them and walking halfway up the stairs as if the hug had never happened- like it’d all been Dick’s imagination. “I want you to choose for yourself.  _ Choose _ your life, Dick. I won’t mind you sticking around, you know that. But if this dirty subway is really how you wanna spend your night, don’t let me stop you.” 

They both stared. Elliot looked desperate but almost- resigned. Like he already knew the answer, like this was a play he’d seen the ending to a million times already. Dick looked like if he got sucked up in his own thoughts anymore he’d tear himself in two. 

He felt reminiscent of those tales about sailors being led astray by sirens offering everything they could ever want. Freedom, relief,  _ beauty _ . 

Elliot sighed sadly, and the broken, frustrated look in his eyes sent a pang through Dick’s heart as he turned to walk away. He was up the stairs already, huffing sadly against the cold wind of the city at night when he heard the distinct  _ pit-pit-pit  _ of Dick’s dumb shell toe shoes carrying him up the stone of the subway stairs. 

“I’m here!” he huffed, grabbing Elliot’s hand. Elliot couldn’t help the emotion that showed on his face, just this once. He looked...completely floored with surprise, before his face broke into that excited grin Dick liked so much. 

“C’mon-! If we hurry we can make it there and back to the arcade on 27th in time!” Elliot practically squealed excitedly, smiling at how Dick was running  _ with him _ this time, instead of being dragged into everything. 

It felt nice. Being around someone that could finally keep up. 

“Welcome to the holy ground of all teenage stowaways and homeless rebels, my dearest friend.” Elliot said dramatically, presenting the run down gas station as if it were a five star theatre. 

“You’re so lame.” Dick snorted, punching him in the shoulder and rolling his eyes. “Let’s just get this over with.” Dick said with a deep gasp. 

Elliot stopped him before he could charge in. 

“Hey, look- I know this...isn’t really your  _ scene _ . I won’t make you do this. And, if you makes you feel any better it’s a victimless crime. I can...do it myself, if that makes you more comfortable. I’m just happy you came.” Elliot stressed, squeezing Dick’s arm to show comfort. 

“...No.” Dick said with a powerful glare up at the station sign. “I  _ need _ to do this.”

“Oh?” Elliot hummed.

“I’m done letting Bruce control my life. I just...I need to do something he’d hate me for. Just once.” Dick said, mostly to himself. “I need to do something  _ you’d do _ , I guess.” 

“Gee, thanks, Richie.” Elliot said lamely, flicking the back of his head. 

It was...less exciting than Dick had expected. No pensive tension, no sneaking around, no intimidation tactics. 

So far they were basically  _ shopping _ and Elliot was using Dick as the cart. 

“ _ Why _ am I the one holding all this stuff?” Dick whined, trying to balance three family size chip bags, several boxes of assorted candy, and god knows how many slush cups. 

“Because you’re the doormat, Richie. You were born for this role.” Elliot mocked, patting his head while Dick glared daggers. He would pull Dick along through the store then casually drop more items into his arms without even turning to make sure they wouldn’t fall.

“Night Clara.” Elliot said casually to the cashier who noncommitedly waved back, strutting back through the gas station doors like nothing. 

“Wait-  _ that’s it? _ ” Dick asked incredulously.

“What? I told you it was a victimless crime. Clara hates her manager- along with everyone who works here. No one cares if some shit from a greasy gas station gets swiped at 3 am.” Elliot explained. 

“Now c’mon, if you stand there gawking anymore we won’t ever make it to the arcade.” Elliot said with a smile, yanking Dick along and causing him to drop some of their food. 

“You’re ridiculous.” Was all Dick could manage once they found themselves a seat at an arcade and started laying out all their stolen goods. 

“What? For making you pop your bubble? Oh, I’m just such a criminal, hm?” Elliot teased as Dick glared, smiling through it. 

This was...nice.

The arcade created a soft background noise as Elliot excitedly scrambled through bag after bag, talking away about who-knows-what. It was just...so easy to imagine them in their own world here. 

“Dick? You listening?” Elliot said with a smile.

“What?” he said dumbly. 

Elliot snorted. “I said, you haven’t checked your camera footage once since we left.”

“Ah- shit!” Dick said, scrambling to pull out the screen.

He was interrupted by Elliot groaning in frustration and glaring into his slushie. 

It made Dick feel...a small bit guilty. Maybe that was why he slowly put it back away, not even looking through the footage once. He could do it when he was Robin again. That was Robin’s problem. Not Dick’s. 

Elliot smiled soft at him. 

“So…” He said, feigning innocence as he swirled a straw through his cup. “When are you gonna tell me what your big case is about, anyway?” 

“When were you gonna tell me you were a teleporter?” Dick snapped back on reflex, almost as if he were waiting  _ all night _ for a good time to ask. 

Elliot huffed, caught off guard. 

“...I never wanted to be.” He said quietly. Dick leaned forward, trying to convey he’d listen if Elliot spoke. 

He seemed to get angrier and angrier the longer this topic dragged on. “...My whole life, there’s been this- big, blaring target on my back for what I can do. People want me as a freakshow, or they want me as a lab rat, or they want me as an asset, or they want me as-” Elliot stopped, realizing how loud he was getting. 

Elliot huffed, sadly. “No one’s ever wanted me for  _ me _ . I’m just some  _ tool _ to everyone. People use me for info, or for defense, or for knowledge- no one ever cares about what  _ I  _ want to do. No one’s hung around just...because they  _ wanted _ to.” 

Elliot smiled soft again, his exterior seeming to melt as he looked up at Dick. “...until  _ you _ , I guess.” He said warmly, whispering it like it was a secret. 

_ That _ sent a pang thrice as painful stabbing through his chest. Dick  _ was _ using Elliot. Not for ulterior motives, but their entire meeting was based around Dick needing someone to help him get info. Then it was just...too easy to want to live this life, where he’s Dick Grayson, and he met this lovely, wonderful boy at a party, and he fell in  _ love- _

Dick gripped his straw so tight it bent. He wasn’t going there. He would  _ never  _ go there- that’s crazy. Elliot's just...another street kid. Not to mention a  _ boy. _

Instead, Dick just honed in on Elliot still staring at him. That soft smile seemed to blur out everything else in the world there was to worry about. 

“Has anyone ever told you you’re-” abort-  _ abort, abort, abort. _ He didn’t expect all of Elliot’s attention on him at once, for him to hang on every word,  _ abort-  _ “too annoying to  _ not _ hang around?” 

Smooth. 

Elliot snorted and cackled, throwing a bag of cheese puffs at him. “Jackass!” he yelled happily. 

They settled into a quiet silence again, Elliot rambling on about stories with his roommates, five other teens that were seemingly as bad an influence as he was. 

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your case.” Elliot said offhandedly. 

Dick looked at him with a dumb expression. 

“I’m not stupid, Dickard. All these little cases you’ve been obsessing over- something’s happening, yeah?” He interrogated, leaning in to glare at Dick as Dick evaded the question and looked elsewhere. 

“Fine.” He huffed. “Don’t tell me.” 

Silence. 

“Tell me who... _ Bruce _ is, instead.” Elliot demanded, hissing the name. 

Dick’s eyebrows shot up at how  _ angry _ Elliot looked all of a sudden, swirling his straw so forcefully it was a miracle he didn’t knock the cup over. 

“Bruce is, he’s...my dad.” Dick said, trying to deflame whatever was going on in Elliot’s head.

He didn’t. Elliot’s jaw tightened as he grit his teeth and glared at the napkin dispenser. “Figures.” he scoffed. 

“What, you have something against my father whom you’ve never met?” Dick asked suspiciously. 

“Well,  _ duh _ .” Elliot snapped. “He’s the reason you’re always so stressed! I don’t even  _ know  _ the guy but I sure as hell know I hate him already! You’re under enough stress as it is and on  _ top _ of that he’s got you worried about him  _ yelling _ at you like you're a child?” Elliot huffed and breathed in and out a bit as he realized how angry and loud he was getting again. 

“ _ You _ deserve  _ better _ .” Elliot said sulkily, stabbing his slush with the straw. 

Dick’s heart stopped and he couldn’t help but reach over and place a hand over Elliot’s halting his slush-murdering. 

“ _ Thank you. _ ” He said meaningfully. 

“...What for?” Elliot asked with a suspicious eyebrow raised. 

Dick sighed. “No one’s...ever said that before. It’s always been- keep up, adapt, get stronger, you’re failing him- no one’s ever said... _ I’m  _ the one that deserves better.” 

Elliot sighed, getting up to sit next to Dick in his booth and wrap his arms around his neck in another comforting hug. Dick was starting to really, really like Elliot’s hugs, as unexpected and scarce as they were. It felt so welcoming, warm- it felt like  _ home _ .

“Well...you  _ do _ . You deserve better than the world’s given you.” Elliot whispered, letting his head fall limp against Dick’s shoulder. 

Dick returned the hug this time. He neglected to acknowledge it when Elliot slyly slid his birdarang into his pocket, terrified of Elliot letting go. 

When they did  _ finally _ let go, Elliot didn’t move, quietly staying in his spot next to Dick while his head comfortingly laid on his shoulder. Neither of them said anything, just mindlessly going back to talking about roommates and stolen junk food and fighting styles. 

Overbearing father figures and unasked for superpowers and genetics was a topic that laid dormant, not thought of for the rest of the night. 

Not even by a vortex of overwhelming thoughts that didn’t happen once. 


	4. Chapter 4

Robin's mindset that next day wasn't exactly the  _ greatest ever _ .

He  _ stole _ ! He committed an honest to god  _ felony _ , then laughed with Elliot about it!

But he also  _ laughed  _ at all. He smiled. He had  _ fun. _

But now he was panicking. He was a swirling void of restless, anxious thoughts, and nauseous dread. He hadn't slept at  _ all _ that night when he came home. He was  _ Robin _ , a hero, an heir to Batman, what had he done? What had he  _ let himself _ do? And for what? A momentary bliss of rebelling against Bruce, who he owed  _ everything  _ to?

Or was it more just...because he wanted to impress Elliot?

He was acting like a pathetic, bratty child.

Even his inner monologue sounded like Bruce, scolding him for  _ everything _ .

Robin's screaming thoughts were blurred out by the blaring, loud noise of the crime alarm. 

What  _ now _ ?

The HIVE is what, apparently. 

"Girls...boys...birdbrain." Jinx said condescendingly as the titans arrived on the scene on main street. Looking over at the stairs down to the subway made his heart ache. 

Robin breathed. All eyes on him. All hope on him. All pressure on him. Again.  _ He  _ was what stood between evildoers and every innocent person in the city.  _ He  _ had to hold that pressure down so his team didn't crack. He-

"Robin!" He distantly heard Starfire yell as Robin was flung skidding backward by a truck mammoth had flung. 

Robin groaned, relieved at least that he could hear the sounds of the battle going on without him. He was stopped from sitting up by a purple boot and all its weight pressed into his chest.

The glaring frame of Kyd Wykkyd came into view. He was never as smug or happy or confident, he was only ever angry and sour looking, no matter the state of battle. At least Elliot managed to be dark and expressive at the same time. It wasn't a very good look on him. 

Kyd held up the jewel they’d been stealing, taunting Robin with it before taking off in the direction opposite of the battle. 

He was  _ fast _ . Robin should’ve suspected such, being a teleporter. But he was fast and nimble even without using his powers. Which he wasn’t- for some reason. 

Wykkyd made easy work of the fire escape hooked to a tall apartment building, barely even  _ climbing _ them, more so bounding and flipping and jumping from story to story with ease between the two fire escapes surrounding the alley before he landed on the corner of the building’s roof. 

Kyd turned to look down at Robin with an  _ annoying _ , menacing smirk, flashing the golden pendant in the daylight to shine light in Robin’s eyes and stick his tongue out at him in a hissing motion before taking off out of view again. 

Robin was off immediately sprinting up the fire escape and doing a similar series of bounds to catch up to Wykkyd, finally huffing as he scrambled to the roof. 

Only to find Kyd waiting for him, looking downright  _ bored _ as he scratched grooves into the golden jeweled pendant. 

Robin immediately went for a punch, only for Kyd to easily glide out of the way, never once looking up from the pendant. He was ignoring Robin- like he was insignificant. Robin  _ hated _ it. It reminded him too much of Bruce and his training.

_ Kyd Wykkyd _ reminded him too much of Bruce- of  _ Batman _ . 

Robin suddenly started trading a combination of jabs and punches and blocks with Kyd Wykkyd, Kyd Wykkyd very  _ focused _ and overall emotionless, but still seemingly bored nonetheless.  _ What  _ was he doing? This stupid robbery was going to make him miss his meeting with Elliot, not to mention this fight felt completely useless. There were too many factors, Wykkyd not teleporting, mocking Robin more than usual, outrightly making a stand where he usually blended in…

Robin froze. 

Kyd did this on purpose, trying to lead the Titans leader away from his team.

“I don’t have time for this!” Robin growled mostly to himself. “You’re a  _ useless _ battle!”

That struck a nerve. Robin didn’t know why, and definitely didn’t mean for it to, but Kyd Wykkyd’s bored expression suddenly twisted into one of fury and anger in seconds. Robin barely had time to react, instinctively holding his bo staff up against his chest in a defensive motion as Wykkyd charged at him, slashing his armored cape against his staff relentlessly and wildly over and over again. 

Robin had  _ really _ hit a nerve. 

Robin had to fight back, so he shoved the staff outwards toward Kyd’s chest to knock him back some when the moment was right, only for Kyd to angrily pound his wrists against the staff in a stalemate when Robin tried again. The staff made a pained hissing noise, like blade against blade, even though Wykkyd was only using the wrists of his gloves and glaring deathly, his mouth contorted into a tooth showing scowl. 

Okay, he had some  _ really _ sharp teeth. Robin gulped, but glared nonetheless. Robin didn’t show weakness, or fear, or even nervousness. Kyd Wykkyd was just another thug stealing from banks and malls. He’d be an easy victory, then Robin could check up on his friends. 

Kyd seemed to grow tired of this stalemate soon enough, and  _ nervousness _ morphed into  _ panic _ very quickly. Wykkyd scraped his wrists apart from each other on the bo staff, giving off an excruciating hiss that even  _ he _ seemed to hate, making just enough room on the staff between them to angrily  _ lean back _ ...then  _ bite _ down on the staff with all his force. He reminded Robin a bit of a shark in the sense that there was no  _ tug of war _ , no battle or fight with the force of the bo staff  _ or  _ the boy holding it. It snapped in two like a dead tree limb.

Robin couldn’t help jerking in paralyzed fear as he looked down at his favorite weapon, now separated into two pieces with jagged, ugly ends, one in each hand. 

Kyd Wykkyd glowered at him, teeth still showing through his furious scowl. 

Okay, keep away from the teeth. He’ll have to add that one to the file they had on Kyd Wykkyd in the database. 

Robin had seen Kyd boredly passive through most of their clashes,  _ usually _ not even fighting him one-on-one - Raven always sought him out for fear he was of demon origin like herself and that she’d be the only one that could combat him if his powers went nuclear like hers tended to with great emotion. Robin had assumed he was just that way because he was another thug with no higher fighting capability. 

Not that he was  _ holding back _ when they fought. 

He wasn’t holding back anymore. 

Robin finally shook his head of his momentary panic, getting into a defensive position with the two halves of his bo staff positioned like a weapon he faintly remembers seeing in the batcave, one he never took interest in. What were they called? Nun-chucks? Throw mates?

Escrima sticks?

_ Now, _ at least, they were on a more level fighting stance. Wykkyd may have accidentally done him a favor.

Kyd couldn’t block two weapons at once very well, it seemed. 

Kicks, jabs, and blocks were exchanged again, those this time there were hits on  _ both  _ sides.

This was kind of fun. 

Wykkyd was actually able to keep up with Robin’s fighting style, and Robin now had a more even chance- it was anyone’s battle. Wykkyd seemed to have calmed down considerably after a few minutes of exchanging blows and acrobatic dodges, now seeming to enjoy this fight almost as much as Robin. 

Robin swiped at Kyd with the left half of his broken bo staff, only for Kyd to smile playfully and lean backward out of the way, doing a full flip to right himself again. It wasn’t a battle so much as a ... _ test _ , it felt like. No, that wasn’t the right word. Wykkyd wasn’t holding him to some standard or trying to make him prove something, he was just distracting Robin, and having fun in the process.

Fun.

That’s what it felt like. He hadn’t had a sparring session just to  _ have one _ and certainly not with someone who could keep up with him in a long while. 

Suddenly, Robin threw all of his weight into a forward jab, and miscalculated where his stance was and how much momentum he had. As Wykkyd slid to the side to avoid the jab, Robin began to topple over the short brick edge of the too tall apartment building, quickly realizing he was about to fall over the side. 

But he didn’t. 

Robin looked forward to see a black glove clutching onto his shirt. 

Kyd Wykkyd  _ saved  _ him. When that would’ve assured him a quick victory. 

The two boys stared at each other wide eyed. Seems like  _ Kyd _ didn’t know he was going to save Robin either. 

Quickly realizing the situation, Wykkyd glared at him shortly before going back to his bored expression, simply letting go of Robin’s shirt gingerly with his arm still outstretched, letting Robin's own weight be his downfall.

Only for Robin to forcefully grip onto Wykkyd’s wrist, Kyd’s eyes going wide as Robin’s weight pulled them  _ both _ down off the roof. 

Robin wasn’t going to let them  _ die _ , obviously. But the moment of pure panic - and the most expressive Robin had ever seen Kyd Wykkyd besides bored and angry - was too good to pass up on. Robin expertly shot out a grappling hook to the roof, catching Kyd Wykkyd by his ankle just before his face met with deafening concrete, his entire body visibly shaking at the very  _ close _ prospect of Robin having not caught him in time, probably snapping something  _ important _ if Robin had decided to let him. 

Robin gently slid more of the grapple out of the gun, letting them both down easy and turning to Kyd who was unreadably glaring at the ground where he was sat, trying to school his expression.

Robin stretched out a hand as Kyd stared at it with confusion.

“Good fight.” He said with a smile, still panting from their scuffle. 

Kyd seemed to stare at Robin for a bit, sizing him up. There was something going on in that head. Gears were turning. Some unreadable conflict stormed in Wykkyd’s eyes- one that Robin was familiar with. 

_ Familiar _ ...eyes. 

Out of nowhere and  _ completely _ catching Robin off guard, Wykkyd snarled and jutted out his cape in a long, swift motion, leaving Robin hissing and clutching his arm and basically the  _ entire _ left side of his chest as he watched Wykkyd bolt away in a panic, teleporting through a wall to get away. 

Blood and sweat and tears of exertion clouded Robin’s eyes painfully, even through the mask, as he tried to put pressure on what felt like  _ everything _ , standing up shakily as he heard the sound of his team looking for him. 

Robin had fought an endless list of villains before. But not one had managed to distract him long enough - or in a fun enough way - to get him this hurt before.

Note to self: stay away from the teeth, the cape,  _ and  _ the banter. 

[Thank you so much for all of the reviews, they mean a lot to me!]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments, they keep me going! And yes, this ship came out of seemingly nowhere, but it's very fun and I have a very fun dynamic planned!


	5. Chapter 5

Dick traced the thick, jagged line across his chest gingerly, lost in deep thought as he stared at it in the mirror. 

Wykkyd had cut him  _ bad _ . He’d had a history of using his cape to fight against others, but never enough to scar. 

Maybe it was the bat-training, or the anxiety, but Dick was lost in the  _ detail _ of the scar. 

Looking at the marks of his ruined bo staff, along with any marks his team had been left with in the past, Kyd Wykkyd’s blows were swift, strong, and clean. The cuts from his cape were sharp and formed a perfectly straight line - dangerous and blunt. 

Dick’s scar was an ugly, jagged thing.

Wykkyd was  _ shaking _ when he swiped at Robin. He was scared. 

The scar stretched from the tip of Robin’s left shoulder, all jagged and shaky but deep nonetheless, tracing in a line directly over Robin’s heart, and continuing its diagonal path to exit through the right of Robin’s midriff, just under his ribcage. 

It wasn’t a perfect scar. It definitely wasn’t a  _ purposeful _ scar, either. Because of the way Robin was poised when Kyd struck, if he relaxed his arm in any other way the scar looked cut in two.

He was scared. It was a cut and run. Kyd Wykkyd had never met any of them with deadly or scarring force before, so it didn’t make sense that he would do so purposefully now. 

Robin traced the jagged line directly over his heart. 

It was almost  _ a very _ deadly force. 

Kyd Wykkyd was starting to remind Robin a lot of an animal. If he was cornered he’d lash out in a near-deadly way, even if it’s only to uncorner himself and run. Robin would have to keep that in mind. 

A soft knock on the door interrupted his brooding for just a moment. 

“Robin?” Came the kind voice on the other side. “Are you alright?” 

Starfire. She was just worried, is all. But there was nothing to be worried about. Robin had survived worse than this, and he’d deal with worse before he broke. 

Robin hastily reapplied his mask and the bandages over his scar. It was already scarred but it felt  _ wrong _ to let anyone see it. It was a weakness, a moment of failure. 

“I’m fine.” He griped lowly before shoving past Starfire and toward his interrogation room again.

“But, are you sure-” She started, softly. Robin glared at the wall in front of him as he continued walking past her, her gliding behind him the whole time. “I’m certain.” 

Silence. Maybe she’d finally taken the hint. Robin didn’t  _ mean _ to come out as mean or aggressive or snappy, it was just  _ too much pressure _ to add one of his teammates to the list. The abduction case, the lost battle, whatever the  _ hell  _ he was going to tell Elliot tonight- he couldn’t add Starfire to the growing list of his problems.

“You are not!” She said sternly, flying in front of him and stamping her feet on the ground, completely blocking his path. This was a surprise, considering her soft, worried demeanor from before. “You have been hiding in yourself, ignoring your friends, running off for ‘solo’ missions and coming home in disarray!” She said angrily.

“I am your  _ friend _ , Robin.” She pleaded quietly. “Please, talk to me.” 

Robin looked up, hopeful. His problems were the kind he couldn’t really  _ tell _ Elliot about.

Elliot was one of them. 

“This is about the battle with the Kyd Wykkyd?” She asked, a hand on his shoulder. 

He glared and shoved it off. “You- you wouldn’t understand, Star. It’ll go away eventually, just leave me alone.” He walked past her and into the elevator, gasping in surprise when she flew in at top speed at the last second as they moved towards the interrogation floor. 

“I will not!” She stressed. “You are my friend, and you do not think I will understand the things that hurt you, but I will try!” 

“...Star-” She glared at him. 

“Did you understand, when I continually reached out to my sister? Or when I was forcefully betrothed? Or when I had to give up my search for my brother in order to continue living my life how I wanted?” Robin shook his head, shamefully. “No, you did not.” 

She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “But you still  _ tried _ . You listened to me, even though you were unable to help create a solution. That alone helped me infinitely, friend. Let me listen to you, now. I may not understand, but I  _ will _ try to.” She said warmly. Robin looked up at her hopefully. “I am your  _ friend _ . Please, let me help.” 

“...Okay.” Robin breathed finally, like he was letting go of a breath he’d been holding for  _ weeks _ . Robin led them both to sit down in the interrogation room, the conspiracies and the string charts and the newspaper clippings feeling like home to Robin. 

“I-...It’s a  _ lot _ of stuff.” Robin warned. Starfire smiled at him. “We all carry emotional weight- a lot of it, even if it’s small. But with someone else to help carry the weight...we may miss a bit more of the pain of it.” 

Robin huffed. Starfire was really smart sometimes. He just didn’t like not being right. 

“I guess what I’m  _ immediately _ stressed about right now is…” He sighed, running his hands through his hair as Starfire looked at him expectantly. “I met...I met a boy, on one of those first solo missions I took. He’s- you’d like him.” He said, relaxing now that he saw that Starfire really was going to sit and listen to him. He got more comfortable, folding his legs in a criss cross position. “He’s really funny, and he’s an  _ amazing  _ fighter, and he’s...kind, and there’s just- there’s no  _ expectation  _ around him and- and when he’s around it’s like all this other stuff- Batman, cases, the team, it goes away and all I can think about is-” He stopped mid sentence, schooling his rambling. He really  _ was _ desperate to talk to someone, it seemed. 

“All you can think about is…?” She prompted, kindly. 

Robin huffed, pinching his temple. “Nothing. I- It’s nothing.”

“It is  _ something _ .” Starfire said, smiling like she knew the answer to an inside joke Robin hadn’t gotten to yet. “You feel  _ happy _ around him? At ease?” 

“I...yeah, I guess.” He answered. 

“He makes you laugh? And smile?” 

“He- yeah, I mean, yeah.” Robin said, scratching the back of his neck. He didn’t like being on the  _ other end _ of this interrogation. 

“And when he is around, everything feels better, just because you are in each other’s company?” She goaded. She wasn’t asking menial questions, she was leading up to something, and Robin almost feared what it was. 

“Sure- I guess-” He said, sweating. 

“Does he make you  _ better _ ?” She asked, seriously, smile gone from her face as she looked deep at Robin. 

Robin faltered. “I- ...I don’t- I mean-” Elliot persuaded Dick to break the  _ law _ . He interrupted Dick’s cases and never let him get anything done. He distracted him- 

He distracted him. He helped him rebel and do something he’d wanted to for a long time. He made Dick feel more like a  _ person _ , like Dick Grayson was just as real as Robin was, when alone Dick felt that line blur too much for his liking. 

“Does he make you  _ want _ to be better?” She clarified. 

Dick gulped, sighing as he thought about how struck he felt when he saw Elliot strapped to that table, or how Elliot pushed him without even meaning to- to be better. 

Elliot pushed Dick to keep up with him. Elliot told Dick that he  _ deserved better _ \- and he made Dick  _ believe _ it. Because if some ratty kid from the streets with nothing left to lose said he saw hope in Dick, then maybe it was really there. 

“Yeah. He does.” Robin finally said. 

Starfire smiled at him like he was the punchline of a joke again. 

“What?” He asked, glaring. 

Starfire went to hug him, before stopping and thinking for a moment, finally deciding to softly hold Dick’s hand and place her other on his shoulder. 

“I understand that Earth has a strange connotation about such things-” She began, trying to break it to him as gently as possible. “But you are  _ in love _ with the boy you met on that mission.” She said, smiling. 

“NO!” Robin shouted, shoving her away and knocking over his chair as he backed up from her. He didn’t  _ love _ Elliot- he didn’t! He liked- girls! He’d had relationships with plenty of girls! Girls were pretty, and soft, and gentle-

And so was Elliot, in a vastly opposite but almost perfect way. 

“I-I don’t- I’m  _ not-”  _ He backed up until his back hit the wall. “Robin!” Starfire yelled, clutching him by his arms and staring sternly. “Breathe.” She was right, he was near hyperventilating. 

“I-” He began after he calmed his breathing, his mind still buzzing. “I need to go- train some more. I need to clear my head-” He tried to turn, but Starfire simply pulled him back. 

“You cannot keep running from yourself.” She said gently.  _ Was _ he running?

Bruce would probably be much more disappointed in Dick  _ running _ than him being…

But he’s not!

“I’m not- I mean, I’ve had relationships with girls! What about Donna? Or you? Or Babs?” He argued. “I’m not gay!” He said, mostly to himself.

“Robin…” she said soothingly, sitting him back down in his chair. “No, you are not. There is an earth term for it I tend to forget often…”

“The point being, my planet and my people do not have the same drawbacks that yours do. My people love whoever they want! No matter the gender, or appearance, or race! It’s not  _ about _ that.” She said. “Do you love this boy  _ because _ he is a boy?” She asked. 

“I- no. He’s just...a good person, I guess.” Robin replied, head hanging low. 

“I wish I could tell you the word- I always get it confused!” She said pleadingly. Suddenly her eyes seemed to spark as they landed on a few sheets of colored printer paper laying on the ground. 

Pink, purple, blue.

“Bisexual!” She said, throwing the papers up in the air, happy she could remember it. “You are bisexual! And it is nothing to be ashamed of! Nor is being ‘gay’!”

“...No?” Robin asked, huffing through a smile. “No!” She chirped. “I am similar, but different! Raven has told me that I am ‘pansexual’, but that nothing is permanent, either! Raven, herself, is not the normal ‘straight’ you wish to be!” 

That...made Robin feel a little bit better.

But one problem just led to another. 

“It doesn’t matter. I have to tell him I can’t see him again after tonight.” He grumped. Starfire looked  _ floored _ . “But  _ why _ ? Does he not make you happy?” 

“That’s the  _ problem _ , Star!” He said, laughing cruelly. “Star, I  _ stole _ while I was with him. He makes me forget all about my morals! He makes me forget all about my duties-!” 

“Then he  _ is _ making you better, Robin.” She said, quietly. “We are your friends, and we see the way you shake even thinking about your...mentor.” 

Dick froze. He wasn’t  _ afraid  _ of Bruce. Was he?

“Please,” she said, desperate, before Robin could argue with her again. “Do you not also deserve to be happy? You spend so much time helping us all through our problems, do you not deserve someone for yourself?” 

Robin huffed. He  _ hated _ when she was right. There was no way for him to argue with her besides blatantly saying ‘I don’t think I deserve anything’. 

“I’m supposed to choose between the morals that have made up who I am for forever, my  _ father _ , my reputation- and…” Robin sighed, tiredly. It should’ve been an easy, obvious choice. “And the boy who makes me feel like I’m more than people’s perception, like I’m more than my own stress. Like  _ I _ control my life.” 

Starfire smiled bittersweetly at him. “My people have a saying that is translated roughly into your language, but still applicable.  _ Nothing _ beautiful in life is not worth fighting for.” 

Robin rubbed his eyes from their burning. He was just so  _ tired _ .

He wanted to take this easy way out. That’s what his plan was. To do what he was always born to. 

To follow in Bruce’s footsteps. 

To look Elliot dead in the eye, and tell him they couldn’t see each other again, and then walk out of his life forever, leaving Elliot to pick up the broken pieces. To forget Elliot altogether. To run. 

“Do you wish to see this boy when you are lonely?” Starfire asks. Robin’s face suddenly grew stern, but before he could answer she prodded a finger into his chest. “No.” She said sternly. “Does  _ Dick Grayson _ wish to spend all of his time around this boy?” 

Dick gulped, sighed and nodded shamefully. 

“Does he smile through the act of making this boy smile?” 

Another nod.

“Does he want... _ more _ ?”

Flashes of Elliot’s gentle, too quick touches and the feeling of his head resting on Dick’s shoulder came to mind, filling him again with warmth.

“ _ Yes. _ ” Robin said roughly before he could stop himself. 

Starfire smiled at him. 

“Then why would you not allow yourself to be happy? Why can’t this one thing be the thing you allow yourself to have?” Starfire stressed before sighing and standing, making her way to the door. “I am not in control of your life,  _ you are _ . But I do plead of you...let yourself be as happy as you fight to make your friends and your family.” 

Robin couldn’t get out any coherent thoughts, drowning in his own mind again. 

Elliot would know what to do, was he here. 

Robin couldn’t let himself be happy because he was only this relievingly happy around Elliot.

And Elliot was a bad influence.

Elliot was a physical representation of everything Batman would’ve been disappointed in him for.

_ Elliot was Kyd Wykkyd _ . 


	6. Chapter 6

Dick didn’t know what he was thinking. He trudged to the address Elliot had given him, still subconsciously holding his side where his now large scar prodded out. 

Elliot. Being Kyd Wykkyd? 

It was a ridiculous idea. 

Wasn’t it?

They shared so many similarities. Their fighting style, their physical details, their  _ mocking _ . 

Dick stopped cold at the address. It was the same building with the same alley and the same fire escape. The very spot he’d  _ gotten _ his new scar.

Dick shook his head of his thoughts as he caught himself tracing the scar again, instead focusing on climbing the fire escape like Elliot had said.

There was no way on  _ earth _ Elliot Knight was Kyd Wykkyd, coincidence be damned. Kyd Wykkyd was ruthless, and cruel, and a  _ bad guy _ . 

And when Dick finally popped his head up over the roof of the apartment complex, he found Elliot smiling sweetly at a bird perched across from him, swinging his legs back and forth over the roof. 

He stiffened and schooled his expression, shooing the bird away when he finally noticed Dick walking over, ashamed to have been caught. 

“What, you can’t be a tough guy and like birds too?” Dick teased, leaning to nudge Elliot with his foot. 

“I like...some birds.” Elliot said, feigning mystery. 

There was a dull silence as Elliot stared out at the setting horizon and Dick sat next to him. 

“M’sorry I was late, I was...busy.” Dick lied. He was started to hate lying to Elliot, it grew a nasty bile in his throat and made him feel awful. 

“It’s fine, I was busy too. Some friends of mine called and needed some help with something.” Elliot shrugged, turning away to not look at Dick as he said this. 

What was Dick thinking, trying to just run away from him? Starfire was right. He  _ needed  _ just one thing in his life to not worry over. 

“What’d they need help with?” Dick asked mindlessly if only to get Elliot to talking. He didn’t expect Elliot to freeze and suddenly clench his fists. 

“Cargo. They needed my help to move some stuff. No big deal.” He snapped, emotionless. 

Okay...a little suspicious. Robin’s bat training silently told him,  _ strike two _ . 

“What about you?” Elliot asked, seeming desperate to turn away the conversation. 

“I-agh-” What did he do? Lie, and dig himself a deeper hole with Elliot?

Elliot meant  _ something _ to him. He refused to say he loved him, that was...impossible. But even so, Elliot would find out who Robin really was  _ eventually _ . He could feel it. The more he lied the deeper this hole he was digging felt. 

“I got into a fight is all. I’m fine.” Perfect delivery. Smooth. Elliot wouldn’t suspect a thing. He mentally patted himself on the back.

“You got into a WHAT?” He yelled immediately, practically all over him in an instant. 

“Are you hurt? With who? Who won- who started it? Are you okay-?” Elliot stammered out all at once.

His eyes were wide with worry and concern. It was...cute. It felt  _ nice _ to be worried aobut instead of being shooed off as ‘he can take it’. 

“I’m yeah, I’m- fine! I got a little scar is all- but I’m fine, really!” Dick tried to say, attempting to calm Elliot down as he jerked his face around looking for bruises or blood. 

“You got a- Okay, c’mon. Now.” Elliot demanded, gripping Dick by the wrist and dragging him down two flights of the fire escape, opening a window with a key Dick didn’t expect him to have and bringing him inside. 

Dick froze as soon as they crossed the window’s pane into the apartment, looking around warily and tapping his fingers together awkwardly. 

“...What?” Elliot asked, exasperated as Dick looked at him incredulously. 

“I- I just, I guess I didn’t, um-” Dick bit his lip. Elliot glared, already knowing the end of this sentence. ‘I didn’t expect you to own a home’ or ‘I didn’t expect you to live like a real person’, he could feel it coming. “I didn’t expect you to trust me this much.”

Oh.

That was new.

Elliot couldn’t help but let out a held breath and smile dopily, tilting his head at Dick subconsciously. Of  _ course _ that was Dick’s train of thought. 

“I didn’t, I mean, this is your  _ home _ . I didn’t expect you to just- drag me in just because I’m hurt-” Dick said, scratching the back of his neck. “Which I’m not, by the way!” Dick tacked on, reminding Elliot what he was so worked up about in the first place.

Elliot rolled his eyes and huffed. “Just, sit on the couch. I’ll be back soon,” he said, already bolting to rummage through cabinet after cabinet for medical supplies. 

Dick couldn’t help but be a bit more receptive than usual to his surroundings. A combination of bat-training and just a  _ desperation _ to know more about his mysterious company did that to a person. The apartment wasn’t anything fancy, Elliot basically lived off of what he needed to survive, with a plethora of probably sentimental things scattered about everywhere. 

Elliot really only had the basics. A single couch. A single table. The smallest kitchen he’d ever seen. There were things thrown about seemingly carelessly- ticket stubs, worn pictures, various objects that seemed nonsensical to have. 

There were some things that stood out. The too expensive TV. The masterfully decorated knife set sitting on his dining table. 

Elliot came bustling back before Dick could really give it any thought, box of cliche medical supplies in hand. He barely took the time to even look at Dick before he dropped the box on the small couch table and shoved Dick to lean back. 

“I can’t  _ believe _ you were dumb enough to get into a bad enough fight to get a scar- wait, no, I can. Who did you even fight?” He ranted, mostly to himself, as he spread out gauze, pads, and other miscellaneous medical items out on the table. Without even asking he immediately started unzipping Dick’s jacket and hastily unbuttoning his shirt to get at his scar. 

“Did you go after Rancid again with telling-” Elliot froze, eyes boring into his chest. Dick started to wonder if he was even still breathing. “Me…” he finished, hoarsely. His expression was completely unreadable. 

Before Dick could say anything, calm him, shrug him off,  _ something _ , Elliot’s body was centimeters from his own, leaning forward to trace the scar delicately. His eyes looked  _ hollow _ with sadness. Dick didn’t know why, but Elliot tracing the scar with the soft tips of his fingers felt so much better than when he himself traced it. It felt like Elliot was filling in the gaps again, making him whole where his skin was split into two.

“Who…” he started, before breaking off. He looked near  _ tears _ . “Who did this?” He said, more than he asked. It was Dick’s turn to freeze in those eyes. He  _ did _ stop breathing. Elliot looked at him like Dick was really worth killing someone over. 

_ No one _ had ever looked at him that way. 

_ “Who did this.” _ Elliot seethed venomously at him, gripping him by the arm and leaning even closer into him if that was possible. Dick could nearly feel Elliot’s hot breath on his face, and Dick could honestly easily imagine Elliot breathing  _ fire _ right now for how furious he looked. 

“ _ Dick _ , tell me.  _ Please _ .” Elliot stressed, finally breaking Dick from his trance. Dick seemed to gasp for air, finally catching his breath from so long not breathing and just  _ staring _ instead. 

“I- no one, I mean- no one that’s important right now-” Dick lied. Elliot glared, gripping his arm harder. “ _ Bullshit _ .” He hissed, prodding a finger at the scar. “That’s a very  _ specific _ mark. It came from somewhere...familiar. I can help, Dick, please-”

Dick suddenly leaned forward and only  _ barely _ mustered the strength to pull Elliot into a hug instead of...something else. Elliot froze, unexpecting the kind gesture when he was still seething with anger. 

“Please, I’m okay, okay? I’m in control of my own life, like you said. I know I have a scar, but I’m not dead, and I’m not hurt. You trusted me enough to let me in on the most private parts of your life. Now, please, can you trust me when I say I’m not going to let anything bad happen to me? I...I really, really don’t want to talk about this anymore. Please?” Dick pleaded, seeming to cling tighter and tighter to Elliot until he finally seemed to break, sighing and melting into Dick. 

“Promise me…” Elliot said, shaky, his head buried in the junction of Dick’s neck and shoulder. Dick made a questioning sound. “ _ Promise me _ you won’t  _ leave _ . You won’t get hurt. Dick, you’re-” 

Elliot stopped, getting quiet all of a sudden. 

“You’re the only good thing I have left. You’re my  _ one _ good thing.” Elliot said, barely above a whisper. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Dick said, much stronger than he felt. It was surreal, holding Elliot like this. They’d never been this close before, not to mention Elliot was just so... _ strong _ , and fast, and unbreakable. Seeing him fall apart like this, trust Dick enough to know he’d help put Elliot back together when he did… “I  _ promise _ .” Dick said, finally. 

“Hey,” Dick said with a smile, propping his head up on Elliot’s shoulder and talking into his hair. “I’ll let you play doctor on me like you wanted, if that makes you feel any better.”

Elliot snorted, huffing a laugh into Dick and hiding his face further. Dick silently counted that as a win. 

“You’re such an ass, you know that?” Elliot said rhetorically as he finally peeled himself away from Dick and shuffled through his various medical tools. 

This went on for the next half hour. Elliot silently patching Dick up and Dick just happy to be in the moment. Elliot didn’t even need to be directly interacting with Dick to just...make Dick forget about everything there was to worry about.

Until the half-hour mark, when Elliot was near finished.

Elliot was applying the last bit of gauze wrap to his shoulder, completely mindless to anything Dick was doing when Dick saw it. 

A golden, jeweled pendant, hanging from Elliot’s pale neck. 

The pendant that Kyd Wykkyd had so cheekily used to shine light in his face. 

The pendant  _ Kyd Wykkyd had stolen.  _

_ Strike three _ . His inner Bruce seemed to say, forebodingly. 

“Will you stay?” Elliot asked seemingly out of nowhere as he turned to put away his supplies. Dick only just barely heard him. It was like listening to someone talking from under water, with how Dick’s ears were ringing. “I mean, it’s already storming. And- I could make dinner! I just…-” Elliot sounded like he were making excuses now, but all of Dick’s swirling thoughts came to a halt as Elliot gently traced over Dick’s scar again, softly. Everything was clear again, as long as Elliot was doing that confused glaring at his scar. “I just don’t think I can sleep tonight. Not without knowing for sure that you’re safe.” 

Stay the night? No. On everything, no. Elliot was Kyd Wykkyd. A wanted thief, a criminal, an adversary that  _ scarred him _ . He wasn’t going to sit here and be cooked  _ dinner _ by his enemy, be led to sleep in his house. Elliot had lied to him. Elliot had tricked him. 

“Of course.” Dick choked out. 

Dick had also lied to Elliot. Dick had looked Elliot in the eyes and promised something like this, something that happens to him almost every day, would never happen again. 

Dick was just  _ so tired _ of the masks, and the morals, and the ‘ _ do what’s expected’ _ , that he couldn’t help but let out a breath, and let everything go, when Elliot smiled all hopeful and tired at him and leaned his head on Dick’s shoulder again. 

His mind was quiet, for once. No calculations. No what-ifs. No worrying. 

Just Elliot Knight’s soft breath on the skin of his shoulder. 

Dick didn’t remember how long it’d been since he’d had a night that was just...quiet. 

No crime, no cases. Dick had tried to ask to use Elliot’s laptop to maybe at least research something, but Elliot had refused, demanding Dick cook with him instead.

In the end, they burnt the spaghetti, because Dick wouldn’t stop distracting Elliot and Elliot wouldn’t stop getting defensive over Dick just trying to do menial things like pick up the pot. They ordered chinese take-out, instead, and left the still burnt dishes to deal with in the morning. 

Dick found out Elliot’s favorite movie is Hello, Dolly. And that Elliot almost never finished it all the way through.

Elliot fell asleep with his head resting in Dick’s lap, chinese take-out littering the floor and spaghetti still sitting on the counter. Dick’s mind wandered peacefully for the first time in forever. 

He barely noticed a small ‘:)’ sent from Starfire on his phone. 


	7. Chapter 7

Dick buried himself in work after that. It felt like every turn he was just  _ waiting _ for Bruce to pop up and - scream at him? Disown him? Tell him how disappointed he was?  _ Something _ . The only way to make himself feel better was to absolutely drown in his latest case. Some quiet part of him said that if he was bone tired from working this case then maybe Batman would go easy on him. 

He hadn’t seen Elliot -  _ Kyd Wykkyd -  _ since that night in his apartment, burning the spaghetti while laughing over each other and feeling a special kind of butterfly in his stomach when Elliot trusted him enough to fall asleep next to him. That was almost three weeks ago, when Dick had snuck out and fled through the fire escape back to the tower in the early dawn of the morning, acting as if he was walking out on a one-night stand instead of a simple night spent sleeping over with a friend. He didn’t know what made him feel more guilty, that he’d been made to spend the night wasting precious hours eating  _ take-out _ and watching movies...or that he’d left before Elliot had even woken up, surely leaving him feeling...bad, to put it lightly.

Not to mention the fact that  _ he was Kyd Wykkyd _ kept swirling around in his head, too. He felt like a  _ dolt _ for not realizing sooner. The signs were glaringly obvious. 

It felt like a secret, that only they shared. Even if it was only Dick who knew. It should’ve felt shameful, knowing something so dark was just  _ there _ in his life now, since he’d given up telling himself he should get rid of Elliot.

Instead, it felt more like a small little promise they shared. Something you would giggle about in a playground because you knew and no one else did. 

This case was  _ killing him _ . No headway at  _ all _ . He just couldn’t find a correlation no matter what he tried. Dick sighed, he needed a coffee break, he needed a clue, he needed-

“Elliot?” Dick asked incredulously, as he opened the police’s private lab door to see Elliot, who was about to do the same. “ _ What _ are you  _ doing _ here?” Dick seethed, yanking him inside. “Aren’t you- I mean, you stole from a gas station- don’t you have a warrant? You’ll get arrested if any of the police here recognize you!” 

“I know that!” Elliot snapped, glaring and shoving Dick’s hands off of him, turning to walk toward the lab table and lean against it, eyeing the devices laid on it. “I just- I was...I don’t know, it’s  _ been a while _ and…” 

Dick couldn’t help the slow smile that formed over his face. “And...you wanted to see me?” He asked, teasing. 

“Don’t make a thing of it, okay?” Elliot snapped, glaring again. He sighed and walked toward Dick again, looking at everything but him and echoing the small tap-tap-tap of his shoes against the hard floor, the only sound in the ridiculously tense room. “I was just...in the neighborhood… bored… I-”

“I missed you too.” Dick whispered before he could finish. Elliot looked up at him in surprise and smiled. “I’ve just been…” Dick gestured towards the messy clippings and notes all around the room, sighing in frustration. “Busy.” 

“Oh.” Elliot said, seeming to deflate. “Yeah, I mean- yeah, I-. I just wanted to... _ apologize _ , I guess- for...for that night.” He looked so depressed. He was obviously trying to look busy himself, but his drooping ears gave him away. Dick decided he didn’t like that look on him, at all. “I’ll...I’ll just- go.” Elliot said, sidestepping him to leave.

“Don’t!” Dick exclaimed, grabbing him by the shoulder, blushing when he realized his outburst. “I mean- I…”

Elliot removed Dick’s hand with his own, and he was worried for a moment Elliot would simply slap it away and walk off. Instead, Elliot looked at Dick like the cogs were turning in his head again- he loved that look - before gripping his hand tightly. “You look exhausted. I’m...gonna go get you some coffee. Black, right?”

Dick looked at him confused again. “How did you-” 

“You used my coffee machine before you left that morning.” Elliot replied impishly. “A person notices things when they obsess over a single morning like it’s the dawn of the plague.”

“Wait, don’t you need a-” Dick patted around for his pass for a moment, before he turned to see Elliot smirking puckishly at him and holding it up like a prize. Dick huffed, not being able to help a smile. 

Elliot was halfway out the door before he stopped and leaned on the frame a moment, glaring at Dick in thought before smiling wide. 

“...You missed me.” Elliot said quietly, in a tone like he was reassuring himself. 

“Maybe.” Dick said, leaning against the table in a similar way to Elliot. “Maybe I just missed my black coffee.” Elliot snorted yelling a curse at him playfully before turning to get coffee for them both. 

Maybe Dick should start thinking through what exactly he was going to  _ say _ to Elliot about that night. He really was a jackass. He felt even worse knowing now that his leaving the way he did affected Elliot so bad. Dick sighed, trying to clear his head before a blaring, angry noise from his pocket interrupted him. He hated that noise. 

Bruce was calling. 

Dick took a breath, checking the doors and windows were snapped tight before answering. 

_ Robin _ . Came the stern voice over the communicator. No time for pleasantries, as usual. 

_ I need a report on the case you have. Have you made any headway? _

“I- no, not yet. I’m, I’m working on it though.”

_ Hmm.  _

Great, more vaguely disgruntled sounds of disappointment. 

_ You should’ve cracked this already. This should be child’s play to someone of your skill, Robin. You need to try harder. _

You need to try harder. You need to be better. You need to be what I want. 

Dick snapped. 

“Maybe some motivation would actually fucking help, you know? I’m working at a nuts pace, I’ve had no time to myself- you’re just gonna interrogate me about the case and treat me like  _ I’m _ a suspect in the way you always do, then hang up without even saying bye. Would ‘how have you been’ kill you?” Dick yelled the next part much louder than he meant. “I’m your son!” 

Dick breathed to calm down, then froze. 

He just blew up. On Batman. On his  _ father _ . God, he was pathetic. Bruce would disown him, he’d tell him to disband the Titans, that he’s coming back to Gotham right away, that he can’t handle the real world-

_ How  _ have _ you been?  _ Came Bruce’s gurgled voice over the line. 

What?

“I- I mean…” Dick sighed. “I’m- I’m sorry, I know you’ve got a lot on your plate too, there’s just been so much going on lately...I’m...sorry, Dad.” Dick mumbled, shamefully.

_ You’re right. _ Came the quiet voice again. This meant...a lot to Robin. Bruce didn’t do this. He didn’t admit he was wrong, ever.  _ You’ve had a lot going on. Why don’t you start with telling who this… Elliot, is? _

Dick froze. That’s what this was about. Why he was at least listening to Dick now. He probably thought Dick was gay, was going to be disgusted, wouldn’t  _ understand _ what was going on with Elliot- how could he?  _ Dick _ could barely understand it.

_ You don’t have to. I just- _ This was new. Bruce was blurring the line between him and Batman. He was using the cracked tone he gets when he’s...genuinely trying to be a dad, but not knowing how.  _ I just don’t like that you have things that important going on in your life and don’t feel safe enough to tell me. _

Okay, that was new, too. 

“What do you...I mean, what do you know?” 

_ I know that… security has seen you two together often. Even more often than when you’re alone. Which I guess is a good thing. I’d always hoped you’d be more social than me. _

He’d wanted Dick to be...more than he was?

_ I know what I want to say, about the things you do around him, about the footage of you leaving his home in ungodly hours of the morning… _

There was that tone he was used to. The ‘I’m not going to say you’re a disappointment, but you are’ tone. He was definitely  _ insinuating _ something in that tone. 

_ But… Alfred says I should just say… I’m here, instead. If you want to talk...about anything, Dick. _

“Cut the bullshit.” Dick could feel the tone rising in Bruce’s voice again. “What do you want to say, then?” He didn't  _ want _ Bruce to play the 'trying parent' card. He was just too mad over how stressed he'd been- all the time! - over Bruce. 

Bruce sighed.  _ I want to say that you know who you are, and this boy is an outside influence you cannot control. He’s a villain, Robin. He’s evil. He’s temptation. He’s- _

“Selina?” Dick snapped. He could hear the surprise in Bruce’s voice at that one. Dick didn’t know why he was suddenly feeling so angry. Maybe it was the Elliot coming out in him.

Maybe it’s that he’d been drowning in himself for three weeks, because he refused to let himself be happy for fear of Bruce, who was miles away. 

“Do you  _ really _ think you ought to be lecturing me on this? After all the times Selina basically flirted the mission out of you? Elliot hasn’t _ once _ gotten in the way of my case, not to mention he’s been more help than you!” 

They were both silent. There was tension on the phone. If they were standing in front of each other, people would assume they were about to break into a fight. 

Bruce didn’t say anything. He just hung up. As usual.

Dick angrily slammed the communicator down, growling to himself. 

“Hey…?” Elliot’s soft tone came, clearing Dick’s head again. “You okay?” He asked, setting the coffee down and moving to wrap his arm around Dick’s shoulder in comfort. 

“I’m-” he couldn’t stand the concern in Elliot’s eyes right now. It made him feel weak. “I’m fine.” He said gruffly, defending in on himself. 

Elliot glowered darkly. “Bruce.” He said more than asked. Dick sighed. It probably said something that Elliot was able to guess straight away. 

It made Dick feel nice, though, that Elliot was that _immediately_ _angry_ without knowing a thing about the fight. Just that Dick was upset. 

Elliot looked around frantically for a moment before smiling and gripping Dick’s wrist. “C’mon, I’ll help you take a stepback look at this case. I brought your coffee, too.” 

“It’s pointless.” Dick near growled. “There are no correlations on these abductions, none of these people have anything in common- I have no idea where to start even investigating!” 

Elliot seemed to be in a daze, his eyes flashing from one picture to another as Dick uselessly rambled. 

He sighed, cracking his neck. “None of these people have any background. Only a third of them had anyone to care about them enough to say where they were last seen. I don’t even know where they were abducted-”

“Villains.” Elliot whispered. He looked  _ petrified _ \- his hands were shaking, his ears were twitching, he looked like he’d seen a ghost. “You couldn’t find any correlation because you don’t know- not like I know- they’re- Dick, they have them, they-”

“Elliot-” Dick said, dropping all frustration to focus on him and try to calm him down. “Easy, what do you mean-” 

Elliot took a deep breath and gulp, trying to steady himself before snatching the picture of Thomas Leonard down from the wall and holding it up with shaky hands. 

“This-” he stressed, pointing at the shit eating grin Elliot used to date a few years back. “The ‘Tommy’ you were looking for at the party- Thomas Leonard is  _ Punk Rocket _ , Dick. All- All these people- they’re-”

“Metas.” Dick finished, near out of breath. “Metas are the ones being abducted.” 

“ _ Villains. _ ” Elliot stressed, near a breaking point. Dick immediately put an arm around his shoulder, trying to comfort him before he cried. “Dick I- these are my  _ friends _ , Dick, I  _ knew _ them- I had no  _ idea- _ ” 

Dick immediately started moving Elliot out of the lab. 

Elliot sniffled, looking at him shakily. “What are you- doing? Don’t you have to finish-”

“Not like this. You’ve been a great help, but I  _ won’t _ -”  _ I won’t put you in the line of danger, _ he wanted to say.  _ Never _ . If  _ villains _ were being abducted…

Dick didn’t want to think about what would’ve happened to Elliot, if he weren’t there to stop Atlas that day in the warehouse. The thought of Elliot vanishing with no one but Dick to care, being abducted, made him sick. 

“But I  _ want _ to help-” Elliot pleaded, before finally standing his ground and looking at Dick with fury and still falling tears in his eyes. “ _ Please _ , these are my  _ friends, my family _ \- they’re in trouble and I have to  _ help _ , Dick.” 

Dick hated how close they’d gotten sometimes. He couldn’t say no to him, even if he tried. 

They had a tense staredown for a few minutes, Dick  _ pleading _ for anything to jump out at him as a sign to say no. 

“You listen to my rules- you follow my orders-” Dick stressed. “I  _ won’t  _ watch you jump into the line of fire, okay?” 

Elliot smiles slyly at him. “Are you forgetting which one of us got us out of that party in the first place? I can protect myself.” 

“...Yeah,” Dick sighed, dopily. “I know.” 

“C’mon-” Elliot said urgently. “We’re wasting time we could be looking at those clues.” 

To say the case had a major break was an understatement. Elliot had an inside look on things Dick never would’ve cracked. He knew the mainframe of the villain world, he knew secret identities and last known locations- it was amazing finally having help on this case he’d been stuck on for forever. 

Dick couldn’t let go of that determined, furious look on Elliot’s face as he tore through paper after paper of reports. 

He couldn’t focus though. Elliot was a miracle of help, but Dick just kept hearing that voice in his head… He couldn’t let go of that look he’d seen on Elliot’s face as his eyes landed on one of the missing profiles- the tears that heaved through his chest.

Was that what Dick had done to him? That morning he’d fled? 

Was Dick just dragging him into more emotional turmoil?

Dick’s head was going to pop if he thought on this anymore, so instead he downed more of his black coffee and just watched Elliot as he took to crime research like he’d been doing it his whole life. 

“Dick, do you still have that device on Atlas’ neck we pulled?” Elliot demanded, frantically running around and rummaging through boxes to find it. 

“...El…” Dick said softly, trying to get his attention. 

“Dick, c’mon, I don’t have time for-” 

“El-” Elliot was losing it now, he was shaking with every step with how frantic he was. 

“You have to help me look!” He near yelled. “We have to take it apart- see if there are any traces of where it came from- find my friends-” He was crying again, yelling through it. 

“Elliot!” Dick yelled back, grabbing him by the forearm. Elliot froze. “Breathe,  _ please _ .” Dick said, still holding his forearm as Elliot huffed through air to try and calm down. Was that what Elliot saw in  _ him _ ? When he was researching a case? He could almost understand his stress about Dick relaxing, now. 

Elliot looked back up at Dick and nodded. “Thanks.” he said. Dick nodded stiffly back and looked away. He couldn’t stand to even see Elliot crying, flashes of  _ him _ causing it coming to mind. 

Elliot tilted his head at Dick, before Dick softly moved a hand to wipe away some of the tears drying on Elliot’s face, making him freeze. “You didn’t have to come- to apologize, I mean, you shouldn’t-” 

Dick let out a huff as Elliot looked away and held Dick’s hand to his face, like he wanted to say ‘it’s alright’, when it wasn’t- at all.

“I fucked up. I shouldn’t have...run away. I should’ve told you I was okay-  _ we _ were okay. You just-” Dick looked at Elliot unreadably. “You  _ scare  _ me, sometimes.” 

Elliot finally removed Dick’s hand from his face gently, looking down dejectedly. 

“In a good way-” he corrected, moving to get Elliot’s attention again. “You just- you care  _ so much _ \- no one’s ever done that before.” 

“The last people that cared about me as much as you do  _ died _ , Elliot. I watched it happen. And…” Dick trailed off, his heart aching as images of his parents flashed through his mind. 

Elliot lifted his hand again, leaning the knuckles of it against his cheek in a soothing motion. “I’m  _ not  _ going anywhere, Dick. You promised me, now I’m here to promise you.” he whispered. “I don’t need a hero, and I don’t need saving.”

“Besides,” he said, a twinkling smile in his eyes. “Who else is gonna save you from getting your ass kicked every other day if I’m gone?” 

Dick choked out a snort, rolling his eyes. 

"C'mon, we've got the location of the last abductee sightings, AND the Waller device to take apart if we need to. We have a  _ lead _ ." Dick said, completely unlike himself. "I say we celebrate. We can chase down Waller first thing tomorrow morning."

Elliot snorted at him. "Celebrate with what? Having black coffee and donuts with your cop friends? I'll pass."

"I was thinking more...your style. To cheer you up." Dick said, jingling a pair of keys that belonged to a cop car. 

"You're not serious?" Elliot gasped, excited already. 

"I'm basically a cop. I'm always serious." Dick teased. "But I  _ am  _ driving."

"Don't tell anyone," Dick teased once they were in the partially stolen cop car. "But I'm starting to think you're not a good influence on me." 

Elliot stuck his tongue out at Dick before immediately pulling up maps of where they could take their joyride. 

Eventually they ended up eating junk food and (grudgingly, by Dick) bought milkshakes on a cliff Dick always went to when he was frustrated. It overlooked most of the city, and was quiet and secluded enough for him to work on his cases there if need be. 

It was nice, sharing it with someone else. They'd both managed to cool down from their respective stress inducers after just a few minutes of driving in the car together- or, passenger seat driving and arguing over which exit to take. Neither of them had much need to drive normally- what with teleportation or modified superhero travel of different types - so one could imagine the chaos it was just driving to a lookout point. 

The comfortable silence was broken as Elliot spoke. "I missed you." He said, barely audible. Dick turned to look over at him only to see him avoiding Dick's gaze and picking at the sticker on his milkshake nervously.

Like he still fully expected to be rejected. 

"I know you told me already but, I wanted to tell you. To make sure you knew." He mumbled, still viciously going at the sticker. 

"More than your friends you're always too busy for me for?" He teased, making Elliot scoff and punch him in the arm. 

"No! You're different. You  _ know _ that!" Elliot laugh-yelled, playing with his straw. 

He was?

He  _ didn't _ know that.

It made him feel...happy. 

"I'm...lonely, on my own." He said, solemnly. "Even around my friends. It's not their fault- it's just, I'm…" Elliot made a weird gesture around his head. "Fucked up, I guess. I push everyone away, but I can't stand being alone. My head just gets so…-"

"Loud?" Dick echoes. He knew the feeling. 

Elliot hummed tiredly, leaning all of his weight against Dick. 

"All things considered...I'm glad we met, Richard." Elliot hummed quietly, eyes closed as he leaned on Dick. 

Dick smiled. "Yeah...me too. And, don't worry too much, about the case, okay? We'll find them. I promise. We already have a lead, that's something." 

Elliot scoffed, knocking his fist against Dick's shoulder. "Aren't I usually the one telling  _ you _ that?"

"Maybe you've just rubbed off on me too much." Dick said, ignoring the fluttery feeling he got when Elliot moved to look up at Dick and crinkle his eyes at him, smiling.

Dick got it now. Seeing someone tear themselves apart for something when they were able to be happy like this. Maybe Starfire and the Titans and Elliot weren't so crazy after all, all those times they tried to get him to calm down on cases. 

Dick also liked this new experience of...everything  _ meshing _ together.

Elliot had helped him tremendously on his case, more than he could've ever gotten done alone.

Maybe Elliot didn't  _ have _ to be a distraction, or a temptation, or a forbidden evil like Bruce said he was. Maybe Elliot- Kyd Wykkyd, could help him destress  _ and _ work on his cases.

Seeing Elliot so easily slip into a role of partner while never forgetting that  _ Dick _ was always the priority... 

It made Dick wonder if one day, Elliot might even welcome him, as Dick Grayson  _ and _ as Robin, with open arms. 


	8. Chapter 8

They were chasing down their lead- Amanda Waller- when it happened.

He didn’t mean for it to happen. He’d never meant for it to happen.

Amanda Waller had her fingerprints on  _ everything _ . From the motive, to the symbol on the Atlas device, to the general suspicious nature of her estate when Elliot and Dick showed up. The  _ plan _ was to calmly walk through the front door and talk to her, maybe interrogate her some. Surprise surprise, that plan failed as soon as Waller’s voice came over loudspeakers, threatening them if they took any steps closer. 

Elliot wasn’t willing to back down. It was admirable, in most cases. In that moment when he charged head on and spartan kicked down the main door to her mansion it was just frustrating. 

It wasn’t too difficult to beat their way to Waller’s hidden laboratory, underneath her estate. Her security mostly consisted of technology and weapon based systems. 

The real danger came when they broke through the door to her underground facility, and the steel doors slammed shut behind them. 

“I do not know what you think that you are doing-” This wasn’t right.  _ She _ wasn’t right. “But you will not find the answers you seek in this estate.” She was using a different tone of voice, the same tone of voice that whatever was controlling Atlas had used. But that didn’t make sense, Amanda was controlling Atlas, wasn’t she?

“Where are my friends!” Elliot roared out to the darkness. “Come out here and fight me!” And still Elliot had the gall to say  _ Dick _ was the tactless one. 

“Elliot Knight…” She said, almost in the tone of a processing computer as Elliot froze next to him. 

Right, alias and all. No one was supposed to know Elliot Knight. And if  _ Waller _ knew him…

The woman stepped out of the shadows and towards them. 

Her eyes were glowing a complete, dull green. The same color as Atlas’. 

Amanda Waller had the pull to make people all over the globe dance like puppets.

But what if someone was controlling  _ her _ ?

Waller started slowly circling Dick and Elliot, who now defensively stood at stances back to back to prevent surprise attacks. She never once kept her empty, hollow stare off of Elliot as she circled like a shark, head ducked like an animal about to pounce. “Birthname Elliot Leslie Knight… Male, superior in hand-to-hand combat- specific to evasive maneuvers. No record of voice on any security or police footage, no record of fingerprints in any militia or private database, no record of paper trail in any government known world-wide…” 

This wasn’t Waller. There was no emotion on her face whatsoever, like she was simply reading a script. Waller took  _ joy _ in knowing the unknowable about her foes. 

They weren’t afraid of her. Everything she’d listed were things you could find with minimal access to police records and just casually watching any fight Kyd Wykkyd had ever been in with the Titans. Elliot matched her dead stare with a scowl of his own, teeth gritting together in what Dick has noticed is a defensive tactic- to scowl in the way he does to show he  _ isn’t _ keen to being cornered. 

He always reminded Dick of a shark, when he did that. A few weeks ago it was terrifying, but seeing the way his nose scrunches up and his left ear twitches when he does it now makes it seem more… fond. Comfortable.

Reliable. Elliot was defensive over  _ both _ of them now. 

Amanda bolted her head upright now,  _ glaring _ at Elliot with intent as she stopped with the quiet circling and began with the methodical marching around them. 

“Orphan-” Elliot gave a full body twitch at that. “No birth records, no parental guardians, no records at all besides-” She sneered. “A  _ failed byproduct _ of the  _ Crane Experiments _ .”

Elliot was letting his guard down, Dick could sense it. His fists were trembling weakly, his breath rate was increasing with panic. 

Waller couldn’t have known that. She shouldn’t have. But even if she was being controlled, what Elliot didn’t know what that it was her  _ job _ to know the unknowable. About  _ everyone _ .

“No particular  _ moral set-  _ a psychological reaction to the “upbringing” you excuse yourself with.” She said, waving a hand and causing sets of screens to light up all around them. Footage of…

Every bad thing Elliot had  _ ever done _ , really. From recent, easy to find footage of petty thefts to extremely  _ personal _ , extremely  _ sensitive _ footage of a young boy violently lashing out at doctors and nurses who tried to hold him down…sedating him with no sense of remorse or comfort when necessary. 

Elliot whimpered and turned away as one of the screens played a scene of complete desperation, completely being  _ cornered _ \- and a young boy leaving the nurse to drop to the floor, clutching her eye as he tried with everything to run, only to be caught by a taser from a doctor. 

“Classification: Metahuman villain.” Waller said robotically, not reacting at all to the footage or to the now breaking Elliot. “And yet…” She continued, waving her hand against the screen closest to her and bringing new footage to play. 

“No particular…  _ malicious _ , premeditated goals, either.” She said in a different tone of voice, as if she were curious as she looked up at the screens with them. 

Footage of every  _ good _ thing Elliot had ever done, too, now. From right then- from teaming up with a police associate and risking everything to save his friends’ lives… to the very beginning.

Footage of the same boy who had possibly blinded the nurse and been tased and sedated, tased and sedated… gave up his food to a woman in the same facility as him, and looked at her with hope in his eyes. 

Dick took a quiet pride in the fact that...there was simply more  _ good _ in Elliot- in Kyd Wykkyd, than Elliot wanted to believe. Despite the awful things he’d done...he’d also intervened on a little girl being abused in an alley, still in his Kyd Wykkyd costume. He’d given up stolen goods time and time again to try and make life easier for kids who seem to come from the same empty home he did. He chose to risk his life, over and over again for a stranger he’d met at a party. 

“Personally, I see that as a disadvantage.” Amanda bit, bringing their attention back to her. “You  _ interest _ me, Elliot Knight. You aren’t like the others- like your friends. They know what they want. Money, power, judicial freedom...but you?” 

She turned to Elliot again, grin dripping with venom. “You are the single most  _ useful _ of all of those second rate street thugs, and yet you can’t even decide what you want of yourself. I wonder if that is a physical manifestation of your childhood psyche?” 

She started marching toward Elliot now, and Dick tried to get him to move but he was  _ frozen _ . 

“No biological parents, no mother’s love...the closest thing you ever had to a father...what did you call him?” She asked, feigning thought as she waved her hand in the air, causing a single screen to light up and paint them all in the afterglow of the footage. 

A young boy being poked and prodded and violated with needles and scientific devices that looked almost victorian. But he didn’t lash out. The scientist wasn’t particularly… different, in any cases except that he didn’t treat Elliot like a lab rat. He gave Elliot real food when he stood still, and he told Elliot all about why they were hurting him so bad, and he… _ talked _ with Elliot. The boy in the footage suddenly squeezed tight to the raggedy, near roughed to death stuffed animal to ignore the singing pain of the needle pumping into his shoulder. He tried to give Elliot a  _ childhood _ .

Elliot had only ever seen  _ good _ in the man. The man who’d  _ tried _ . The man who had started all of the pain and the experimenting and the hurt to begin with, who’d manipulated Elliot into a sense of family, but who’d at least seen  _ something  _ in him. The only man in the entire facility who would never, ever, call him useless. 

And Dick only saw the horror. Of a child being manipulated and tortured and taught that it was  _ okay _ . Of a child seeing a man like him as a  _ father _ . Of how bile-inducingly  _ familiar _ the man was, and how his stomach lurched seeing any version of Elliot so near someone as monstrous as him. 

“Mister crow?” Amanda sneered. “As I recall through this footage...at the time you were integrated into the Crane experiments you weren’t even able to pronounce what staff called him. His true name-” She said, not even to turn to the footage of the man enhancing his costume and preparing with that eerie, iconic mask. 

“He was all you had...” Waller said condescendingly. “You were never given a choice, were you? Maybe that’s why you can’t even decide if you’re a bad-guy or a hero. You don’t know  _ how _ to make that choice.”

She got centimeters from Elliot’s face. “So you surround yourself with people to make the tough decisions for you. While you  _ run _ .”

Dick had never seen Elliot so afraid before. All he could seem to do was stare and make a sad whimpering sound in the back of his throat before Dick gently touched his shoulder and Elliot reacted as if Dick had tased him.

“You don’t- you don’t understand he  _ loved me _ \- he was my  _ father _ \- he- he didn’t mean to hurt me, he would’ve stopped if he could-” Elliot said, getting more and more panicked, near hyperventilating now. Elliot being tortured in the past by that monster was one thing...but Elliot  _ still _ looked at him like a father?

“He hurt you! He was using you, can’t you see that? He  _ wasn’t _ your father-” 

“He was all I had!” Elliot exploded, heaving for breath as tears brimmed his eyes. 

“Elliot, breathe. Listen to yourself-” Dick begged, stepping closer. “He hurt you, he’s not even here anymore and he’s  _ still hurting you- _ ”

“Like Bruce?” Elliot spit venomously, glaring death at Dick. Dick was taken aback for a moment, and seemingly so was Elliot, looking  _ empty _ as he realized what he’d said. 

“I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” Elliot whispered frailly. Dick shook his head interrupting him. “Stop. Listen.” Elliot’s ears twitched, searching the dark for anything, really.

“Where did Waller go?” He asked into the darkness. 

“DICK!” Elliot yelled, jumping over him to knock him to the ground, out of the way of the oncoming armed drone buzzing through the darkness. “C’mon- we have to go!” He yelled, dragging Dick with him through the dark, begging on  _ everything _ his ears came in handy for once. Weapons and drones and security measures seem to come at them from all sides, only narrowly avoiding fatal injuries with the grace of trained fighters. Somewhere in the fray, they’d split up, and that’s when Dick noticed it.

The realization made his heart sink. Everything in that room, it was only targeting Elliot. They’d easily left Dick behind, Dick could run right to safety and they’d still be chasing down Elliot. Dick knew why. Waller  _ knew _ Elliot was a villain, what, at the least, Waller had set out to destroy. 

Dick had led him right into the lion’s den.

Dick tore through machine after machine trying to catch up with Wykkyd before he finally got Elliot to start following him through a complicated looking route of circles and turns and jumps and ducks. Every drone- every machine- it was connected by a wire or line of somekind. Dick was  _ tangling _ them, Elliot realized with a start. So, just _ maybe _ he was smarter than he let on. 

They somehow made it to the door through the dark, but just as Dick was about to rush through it, Elliot full stopped, staring emptily ahead of him. “Where- where did Waller go?” He growled, turning around. 

“Elliot-” Dick pleaded, already knowing what was going through that mind. “Don’t-!” They’d only  _ just made it through  _ the giant death trap, Dick’s heart couldn’t take any more scares over losing Elliot today. He never should’ve brought him in the first place. 

“Elliot-!” Dick called, trying to catch up to him. “I’m  _ not _ leaving!” He screeched back. “Not without my friends- not without  _ something _ -” He said, spun around to yell back. They were in a standstill, glaring.

Dick froze at the near  _ deafening _ sound that echoed through the facility. Elliot froze and choked at the pain he’d never felt before, as blood started blooming from under his ribs like a flower. Elliot seemed to stare at it in disbelief for a moment, before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell to the ground in a heap.

Amanda Waller didn’t smile. She didn’t gloat as she packed her gun away. She simply pressed a button and was shot up through an escape elevator like a pneumatic tube. 

Robin screamed  _ go after her- don’t let her get away _ \- but Dick didn’t  _ care _ anymore, as he stammered and whimpered things like ‘no no no,  _ no, no, no-”  _ and “open your eyes, open your  _ eyes _ -” like they were quiet prayers, clutching Elliot’s arms and shaking him as if he were asleep. 

Robin knew what to do. He knew where the nearest hospital was, he knew how to transport an injured person, and he knew how to conduct himself when a teammate was down.

But for a moment, Dick Grayson saw his parents, and he saw Elliot Knight, and he let himself cry. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back! :) I didn’t mean to leave but life kinda caught up with me all at once, but I SWEAR I’m making it a priority to actually FINISH this fic. It’s very fun to write, and I’ve got kind of a plot going I want to get to! This chapter specifically didn’t come out the way I’d liked, but I haven’t updated in FOREVER so I really wanted to get something out. Review if you’d like, see you next chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

Robin just kept playing it over and over again. He’d seen people get hurt, he’d seen people shot before, that was just another part of his history.

But the look in Elliot’s eyes…

Like he couldn’t even begin to comprehend it. Like he expected the red to be some food stain, and not his own blood sticking him to his shirt. Like he could never a million years imagine that he’d just been shot through the ribs by a real gun with a real bullet. 

Then he looked up at Robin, just before he passed out from shock and blood loss, as if Robin was going to tell him everything was alright and he wasn’t going to die. 

He nearly did. Dick had rushed him to the hospital with minutes to spare it seemed. The bullet passed through his left ribs, shattering one of them and puncturing his lung. 

If Waller had aimed just a bit left, or was even in control of her own body, Elliot would be dead. 

So instead Dick buried his face in his hands and listened to the steady beep of the monitor in the hospital. The only thing that assured Dick he was still alive, and not just dead, lying there breathing into an oxygen mask. 

What had he done? What had he allowed to happen?

Strained coughing made Dick jolt and he felt his heart stop as he saw Elliot shakily reach to rip the face mask off. 

“H-how- They said you’d be under for at least another week-” Dick stammered, hands wavering over Elliot’s body like he was afraid to touch him. 

“Accelerated healing.” Elliot said roughly with a smirk, forcing himself to sit up. 

Dick had to turn away from the bandages around his middle as the blanket fell down. He couldn’t stand to see them. 

“Where are we?” Elliot said, his voice shaky and frail as he rubbed his head of an ache. 

“Gotham General Hospital. It’s the only place that can keep metas who need medical help safe from public or governmental eye.” Dick grunted, still firmly keeping his view on the wall opposite of him. 

“We’re in a  _ hospital _ ?” Elliot nearly shrieked.  _ That _ got Dick’s attention, immediately rushing over to assuringly grab Elliot’s shoulder as he near hyperventilated and looked around at the room in horror as if he were in a torture chamber.

“I- can’t- Dick, we need to leave-  _ I need to leave- _ ” Elliot gasped, gripping onto Dick’s arm so hard it felt bruising. 

“El.” Dick said firmly, grabbing Elliot’s face and forcing him to only see Dick. “Do you trust me?” 

There was a tense moment of staring before Elliot answered seemingly with no hesitation. “Of course.”

“I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. I brought you here because you needed help. I would never-” Dick gulped, straining not to let his voice break. “I would never put you in harm’s way.” The sentence felt like bile sliding down his throat. 

Elliot buried his face in Dick’s shoulder for a bit until he could even his breathing, still never letting go of Dick’s arm as Dick froze at the contact. 

Elliot wouldn’t be in this situation- he wouldn’t be scared at all if Dick hadn’t fucked up so badly. 

“Did we get anything? On Waller? Or whatever was going on with her?” He asked finally once he retracted from Dick’s shoulder like it’d never happened.

Dick’s face suddenly grew hard as he glared coldly at the wall again. Elliot seemed to jolt at the sudden change in mood- like it was practiced, like it was rehearsed. 

“ _ I _ got what I needed thus far. You aren’t needed on the case anymore.” Dick said sternly, getting up and meanly shrugging Elliot off of where he’d been leaning on him, refusing to look at the half broken, half furious spark in Elliot’s eyes. 

“What do you  _ mean _ \-  _ I’m the one who cracked your case in the first place!”  _ Elliot yelled, forcing himself to stand to face Dick head on, painfully hissing and clutching his side when he did. 

“I mean that  _ I’m _ the leader of this case, and  _ I _ have to make the tough decisions. And I-” Dick froze when he finally turned to see the look on Elliot’s face. Dick had this whole thing planned out. Every argument Elliot could make, Dick could overrule. So why did he always have to freeze when Elliot stared at him like he was seeing his soul?

“I won’t allow myself to let you get hurt again!” Dick yelled full force, making Elliot flinch back. 

Almost like he was scared. Of Dick. 

“I have to leave.” Dick said simply, marching to the door. 

He’d only just gripped the handle when Elliot spoke up. Soft. “No, you don’t. You don’t have to do this.” 

“Do what, El?” Dick asked, getting frustrated again. “Save the city? Save  _ your _ friends? I  _ have  _ to do this-  _ I have to- _ ”   
  


“Have to what?  _ Abandon me?  _ Sacrifice yourself over and over again because it’s what you’re told?” Elliot yelled back, shuffling over to Dick while still awkwardly holding his side. Neither could tell anymore, if the tears were from just how painful it was to walk or just how painful it was to argue with each other to this degree. 

“You’ll die if you do this on your own- don’t you see that?” Elliot pleaded as if he truly couldn’t begin to understand Dick’s thought process. “Whoever- whatever this is, it’s taking everything, it’s killing everyone, it’s-” 

Dick froze as he heard Elliot choke out a sob. 

“You’re all I have left!” He yelled, shoving Dick back before falling to his knees and sobbing as he clutched his side with everything he had. 

Dick didn’t have the strength to stand his ground, simply letting himself be shoved before slowly approaching Elliot again.

“You wanna know why I was so desperate to get on this case? To get back in your good graces?” Elliot asked, voice broken but eyes filled with a wrathful fire. “ _ Everyone  _ is _ gone _ . Even before all this disappearing shit came up- I was only ever a means to an end. With  _ everyone _ .” 

“Dick…” Elliot laughed mirthlessly, tears still brimming his eyes. “People look at me- and they- they see a  _ tool _ . That’s all I’ve ever been. A science experiment, a spy, a thief. Even around my own friends-!” 

Elliot looked up at Dick again, confusion and  _ joy _ in his eyes. “Then you came along and- Dick you looked at me like a  _ friend-  _ a person. You… enjoyed being around me, or at least I thought you did.” 

Dick’s stature finally broke as he knelt down to help Elliot back onto the hospital bed. Elliot refused to unravel his arms from around Dick’s neck, though. 

“Everyone’s gone, Dick. You’re all…” Elliot let out another sob, muffled into Dick’s shoulder. “You’re all that’s left.”

Dick stopped to think about it and… yeah, he never took Elliot’s other relationships into account. He assumed maybe one or two people Elliot knew off the streets were missing but…

Baran Flinders last sighting was nearly a month ago, roaming around in a daze somewhere outside of Jump city limits. 

“Seemore” and “Gizmo” were quick to follow.

Jaya Salem was taken into arrest and somehow lost in the system, no doubt interference by whatever has been stealing metahumans lately. 

Billy was hard to find on a daily basis, not to mention during times like these. They could only pray he was in hiding and not...

“I never had a family for very long.” Dick said without even thinking. “My first family… they died, Elliot. My second family is rocky at best most days. My third looks to me for everything and they’re the only ones that loved me like my first and it’s just  _ so much _ \- it feels like I’m running from myself, I don’t even know where to draw the line-” Dick gasped in a breath of air as he felt Elliot soothingly squeeze him tighter, silently letting him know he was there.

“And then...you came along.” He said, laughing mirthlessly at their parallels. “And you look at me like there’s no...no question at all, over who I am. You don’t just look at me like you trust me with your life, you- you look at me like… like it’s okay to trust you with mine, too. Is that crazy?”

Elliot huffed a breath into Dick’s shoulder. “A little.” He said, teasingly. 

“I lost everyone too, Elliot.” Dick said seriously. “The first people who loved me, they died and I watched. The second distances themself from me so much that it feels like they don’t care at all sometimes. I put so much worry and thought into the third that it… it feels less like I’m running to them and more like I’m running away, some nights.” 

Dick squeezed Elliot harder. “I…  _ care about you _ , okay? And, I can’t take losing anyone else. Not again.”

Elliot huffed then sat up, gently taking Dick’s hand and placing it over his bandages, staring at him with purpose in his eyes as Dick winced at the wound. 

“You didn’t do this.” Elliot said simply. Dick looked like he was going to speak up before Elliot stopped him. “I know you, okay? I know how that stupid, clogged machine of a brain of yours works. And I’m telling you now-”

He gently placed his hand over Dick’s heart as Dick’s stayed over his own wound. “You  _ didn’t _ . Do this.” 

“Don’t force me out, Dick.” Elliot pleaded. “I can help, you know I can. My choices and my scars are my  _ own _ . But together we can work this out. We can  _ save them _ . Please.” 

Dick wanted to break at the tone in Elliot’s voice. He knew that feeling. He remembered going to those police officers as a child- begging to know what happened to his parents, when they were coming back. 

“The case is closed.” Dick said sternly as Elliot’s face froze. Dick huffed, unbelieving what he was about to do. “The case is closed until my…  _ investigative partner _ , is fully healed from his wounds.  _ Then _ we can save them.” 

Elliot smiled like Dick had given him the entire world. Dick rolled his eyes, already imagining what he was supposed to say to Bruce. ‘Sorry but my crush batted his eyes at me and now I’m waiting until he’s better to investigate this’? He was a joke.

Dick froze at his own thought process when he heard it bounce around his head. Crush? Was that what Elliot was to him? 

Dick thought of how selflessly and with no hesitation that Elliot threw himself into danger to save his friends.

Yeah, maybe. A small bit. 


	10. Chapter 10

Dick found Elliot staring out at the horizon on the roof of the hospital. He was supposed to be released today. It’d been hell for the most part, but Dick had been helping him through it. In between his accelerated healing and desperate want to just be out of the hospital, he was making great strides in his wound healing. 

“I’ll never understand how you manage to get past that much security.” Dick said to get his attention as he sat next to Elliot on the roof. Elliot gave a noncommittal huff and half smile, going back to being dreary in an instant. He looked miserable. “And all just to- what? Stare at the smog for an hour?” Elliot didn’t react at all, to that one. 

“Are...you okay?” Dick asked quietly, placing a hand on Elliot’s shoulder to snap him out of his reverie. 

Elliot seemed to look deathly conflicted down at the ground for a moment before turning giving Dick a forced, pained smile. “I’m fine.” He said, forcing a lilt into his voice. 

“We’re gonna find them, don’t worry.” Dick said assuringly, shaking Elliot’s shoulder this time. 

“I know...I know.” Elliot said quietly, staring down at his feet. “It’s not that. I’ve just...had a lot of time to myself, you know? Had a lot of time to think, I guess.” 

“Don’t strain yourself.” Dick teased, reveling in the playful roll of eyes and side punch it earned him. “What are you thinking about?”

“You, I guess.” Elliot said before turning a light pink and correcting himself “I mean, what you said. I mean-”

Elliot huffed, turning to Dick with a pained look in his eyes. “Do you really trust me? All that much?”

Dick nodded without hesitation. Instead of reassuring him, this seemed to make Elliot look even more physically ill. Elliot seemed to nod to himself, standing up and making a decision.

“There’s something I need to tell you. Before it eats me alive.” Elliot said, whisper soft. Dick followed suit, standing next to him on the roof and waiting patiently.

“You’re-...you’re my… _ friend _ , right?” Elliot asked, as if it were a guess. “Of course.” Dick answered easily. 

“Of course…” Elliot said, as if he were picking apart the answer. “And friends, they don’t lie to each other, Dick.” 

Dick froze. Elliot knew. Elliot knew and he was going to distance himself from Dick and Dick’s heart was going to be shredded into a million pieces and-

“I’m Kyd Wykkyd.” Elliot said with a scratch in his voice.

“...Huh?” Robin said dumbly, taking a bit to process what he’d said.

“ _ I’m Kyd Wykkyd _ .” Elliot said, stronger this time. He was starting to unravel, Dick could see it. “I’m- I’m a criminal, a supervillain- I- I should’ve told you, it’s why all the security went after me at Waller’s estate- I probably put you in danger just being  _ near me _ and-”

“I know.” Dick said simply. 

“And- and-” Elliot froze, turning to Dick with a betrayed look in his eyes. “You... _ know _ ?” he said, accusatory. 

“I...wanted  _ you _ to tell me. When you wanted to. It wasn’t any of my business, it was yours, and-”

“And you knew.” Elliot whispered, shaking his head like his world had imploded. “How long?” He demanded.

Dick nervously gulped and scratched the back of his head. “Since the night I ran out.”

Elliot looked like he was completely out of his own wits. He just kept shaking his head like he’d wake up from a dream. 

“ _ Why _ ?” Elliot whispered, mostly to himself, before he turned to Dick like this was the most important question he’d ever ask in his life. “Why would you- You knew- you  _ knew- _ I was a wanted criminal- you’re with the police force, you let me on an investigation, you let me lead you into  _ head-on danger- _ ” 

Dick forcefully grabbed both of Elliot’s shoulders, steadying his conscience. “Because I trusted you. And I still do." He could scarcely  _ himself  _ believe the words he was saying.

Elliot backed away from him, still spiraling in his own thoughts. “But- why- you had to be using me for something, but- what, I- I don’t understand-” 

“Stability.” Dick answered quietly but honestly. Elliot gave him a curious look. “You weren’t...Kyd Wykkyd- when I met you. You were only ever Elliot Knight, to me. Kyd Wykkyd was a...surprise, but a backdrop nonetheless.” 

Elliot looked no closer to making sense of Dick than before.

Dick sighed, looking away. He wouldn’t be able to finish a sentence if Elliot kept looking at him like that. “I know what it means to have so many versions of yourself built up that… you don’t know who the original even is, anymore. But you showed me that  _ I _ was. You’re not  _ just _ Kyd Wykkyd, you never were.” Dick turned to him and smiled. “I was there with Waller’s monitors too. There’s just as much if not  _ more _ good in you than there is bad, El.” 

Dick walked forward and hugged him, ignoring the stiff posture he got in return. “I told you I trusted you with my life. I still mean it. And I still need you for this case. And for my sanity. Is that crazy?”

Elliot heard a hiccupping laugh finally break the tense silence. “Yeah. A little.”

“How does someone like you just...exist?” Elliot said to himself, pulling away to curiously look at Dick’s face, as if he were a riddle he could crack if given enough time to stare. “You just...want me around?” 

Dick nodded.

“Just like that? For no… reason? No motive?” 

Another nod, slower this time. 

Dick wanted this memory imprinted into his brain forever. The setting sun cast an orange afterglow onto Elliot, making him look ethereal against the city backdrop. He stood just a small bit taller than Dick, if leagues skinnier- something he'd never admit- making Dick look up at him like a completely out of this world being. He just kept shaking his head and scrunching his eyebrows like Dick was a puzzle he could never, ever hope to understand. A good one, at that. And his eyes…

Elliot just kept looking at him with that expression that stopped Dick’s heart. The one where it was like he could see into Dick’s very soul, he could see every secret, every bad thing he’d ever done, and he was  _ content _ with it- he accepted him, no matter what he’d done or what he’d do. 

Like at the end of the day, they were the same. They could understand each other and just be with each other and nothing else would matter.

“With”?- he meant, he meant ‘around’. Obviously…

Obviously. Of course.

Flashes of how their lifestyles would change if...Dick  _ had _ meant the word ‘with’, came to mind, and he was unable to shove them out while Elliot was looking at him like that. 

They’d be basically the same. Breaking the rules for menial relief. Working together to try and save who they could. Going to each other for support.

Staying so close to each other without embarrassment or guilt. Holding each other tighter, longer, like ‘home’ was only ever in the other’s arms. 

Finally having that answer to his thoughts when he looked at Elliot for too long and wondered how soft his lips really were. If it was deceiving, if they had scars from fighting or if they were the lips of an angel. 

“I’ll never understand you, Richard.” Those lips said with an amused smile. “You keep around the worst of the worst...and for no reason. Some men would call that insane.”

“I don’t need a reason.” Dick said honestly. “I don’t need to use you for anything. I’d hoped you’d known that by now. I just want…” Elliot staring at him like that, with the sun cast behind him kept tripping up his words. ‘ _ I just want to hang around you’  _ or ‘ _ I just want you to know I’m your friend _ ’ would’ve sufficed. But what came out was a choking, gasping “-I just want  _ you. _ ” 

Those four words looked like they’d changed Elliot’s life, with the way he completely let go of all tension in his body and looked at him like Dick had just told him the answer to life. 

“... _ What _ ?” Elliot choked out, like he expected Dick to rear back and laugh in his face. 

Elliot made a face like he finally seemed to understand  _ everything _ about Dick, like everything was falling into place all at once, when he got no reaction from Dick besides shaking hands and avoiding glances. 

Dick’s stare was pulled away from the now interesting radiator to their right, as Elliot gently pulled his face to look forward again, trying to decipher the riddles written into Dick’s face. 

Elliot looked at him sadly, as he saw the shame, the guilt, the regret locked into his eyes. Dick always looked so... _ heavy _ , so beaten from the world. Scars littered his skin, guilt from things a teenager should never have gone through storm in his eyes. Elliot wished he could relieve some of that pain, if only momentarily.

Elliot closed his eyes and gently placed their foreheads together, and all that seemed to melt away in the radiating warmth of Elliot’s timid smile.

He looked nervous, too. 

But why?

It only lasted for seconds, but Elliot had suddenly leaned forward just a hair, and Dick found their lips touching so gently it was like Elliot was afraid he’d break. In the same motion, Elliot had reached out to nervously squeeze his hand and caress his knuckles soothingly. In a realistic setting, that motion would be silently telling him that it was alright, everything would be alright, they just had to trust each other.

It only lasted for seconds. Hardly even two. Dick didn't let himself find the answer to his question.

Dick choked on a gasp and reared back, wrenching his hand away like Elliot had bit him with a taser anywhere he’d touched. Dick shook his head, hyperventilating, everything coming to the surface at once- Bruce, Alfred, what would they say- what would they think- the  _ Titans _ \- he was a  _ joke _ \- he was a walking stereotype-

Elliot reached out slowly, voice confused and small. “Dick…? What’s-?”

Robin did what he did best. He ran. He turned and bolted through the hospital top-floor doors, gripping his stomach and the wall like he were about to puke from so much mental anguish at once. Dick couldn’t take this- he couldn’t do this- he couldn’t  _ face this _ right now. Dick only turned just as the doors were closing, to see Elliot’s face.

Elliot wasn’t even looking at him. Elliot was staring at the ground like that’s where he’d find his heart had dropped as Dick ran away-  _ again _ . He looked like someone could flick him with a single finger, and he’d completely fall apart. 

He slowly looked up to where the doors were closing, shaking his head like he just  _ couldn’t understand _ -

He looked  _ heartbroken _ . 


	11. Chapter 11

What had he done?  _ What had he done? _

Run.

Just like before.

Just like always. 

He was sitting in the abandoned subway station now. The one Elliot had dragged him out of before. 

He felt pathetic. 

Heroes didn’t cry.

But Dick Grayson did.

_ What had he done? _

He’d absolutely ruined his friendship with Elliot. And for what? Momentary relief? Passive bliss? 

The more he thought about it, the less he was certain he wouldn’t have kissed him if he’d been given the chance again. It just made him feel worse.

What was wrong with him?   
  


If anyone found out, Elliot’s reputation  _ both _ as Elliot Knight and Kyd Wykkyd would be ruined. If anyone found out then Robin’s reputation would be ruined. This  _ never _ happened before, he’d never felt like that- not for a boy. Not for a villain. 

Maybe Bruce was right. He wasn’t ready for the real world. He wasn’t ready to be a real hero. Elliot proved that right by just  _ existing _ , it seems. 

God, Elliot probably thought he was insane. He’d basically assaulted him. He didn’t ask for that kiss. He didn’t ask for any of this mess that came with just being  _ around _ Dick Grayson.

Dick balled his hands into his hair and  _ pulled _ as stinging tears fell down his face. He was  _ pathetic _ .

The small dotted ringing of a familiar tone sounded like screaming sirens in that moment, echoed emptily in the subway space where he was curled on the railing in between two trains. 

He huffed and gasped, trying to force himself to calm down as quick as possible. It’d already rung  _ 1, 2, 3… _

_ Dammit. _ 4 times. Bruce would know for certain something was wrong now.

“H-hello.” He warbled, before wincing and correcting himself. “Robin reporting.” He forced confidence into his voice like putting on a mask. He did it  _ everytime _ Bruce called, after all. 

There was a stiff silence. Bruce was caught off guard. He knew something was wrong. Dick just kept mentally  _ begging him _ , leave it alone- leave it alone-  _ leave me alone _ -

“Richard, is everything alright?” Came the stiff voice.

He was giving Dick a way out. Dick could just as easily say ‘yes’, and move on. But the genuine worry in Bruce’s voice wouldn’t let him lie. As stubborn and stern and stoic as he was...Bruce was still his father. He owed him honesty. 

“No.” Dick hiccupped, smiling bitterly as tears came back in fruition. 

Bruce was immediately worried which...pleasantly surprised Robin, in that moment. “Are you hurt? Are you alright? What are your coordinates, I’ll-”

“NO-” Dick couldn’t handle it to see Bruce face to face. He couldn’t handle letting Batman see him that vulnerable. “No...I- I’m fine. It’s not- I just- it’s not a physical thing- I mean-” 

“Dick, talk to me. Use your words.” Bruce said like talking to a toddler. It made something in Dick volatile. 

“It’s  _ Elliot _ .” He spat. He could practically hear Bruce freeze. 

“The...villain boy?” Bruce asked unsteady. “Did he turn on you? Use your friendship against you?” He asked, suddenly softly. Dick would die before he said so but...he greatly appreciated the change in tone. He sounded less like  _ Batman _ and a lot more like his  _ dad _ again. 

“I-” Dick sniffled. Suddenly, like he could see it plain as day, a dam in his throat broke. “I  _ fucked up _ .” He held the phone away from his face while he outrightly sobbed into the sleeve of his jacket, hoping Bruce wouldn’t hear it if the phone was far enough away from his face. But here in the subway, the sound echoed and echoed and  _ echoed _ and it was just like there was  _ no getting away _ from his own emotions. He couldn’t run away. Not this time. 

Bruce finally broke the sobbing with a small, resound “Hm.”

Not a condescending one. Not an unfeeling one, like normal. Just a processing one.

“Can I ask...how, exactly you…” Bruce got awkward, physically straining to ignore his son using a curse word to his face. “Fucked up?” 

Dick sniffled, trying to put together a sentence through his shaking. He couldn’t. He felt like he was drowning again. Like at the party. But there was nothing here to drown  _ in _ , no people, no lights, no colors. He was drowning in himself instead- in his own mistakes. The only people here was Dick Grayson, and the glimpses and flashes of memory that Elliot imprinted  _ everywhere _ . He couldn’t turn away from it, he couldn’t pretend it wasn’t there. He was trapped in every bad thing he’d done.

Dick was a smart boy. He knew the way out. He knew the risks of it, too. But if he pretended he  _ didn’t _ know, for long enough, maybe everything would go away.

He was too smart to think that was a real possibility, too. He just wished his brain would stop working at a thousand miles per hour, just once.

Dick took a deep breath and  _ held it _ , like if he got the answer he  _ knew he would _ , he could just force himself to pass out instead of facing it like a real man. 

“ _ Would you hate me if I was gay? _ ”

There was silence over the com, but god there was so much flying through Dick’s head. He knew what he expected. He wasn’t asking not to be shunned. He wasn’t asking not to be banned from the Wayne family. He was just asking not to be  _ hated _ . He couldn’t take that. Not from his father. Not on top of everything else.

“... _ That’s _ what this is about?” Bruce broke through the silence.

Dick could hear a rare smile in his voice, like Bruce was the one that knew a joke for once.

Dick sniffled, scowling. Was he making fun of him- how  _ could he- what kind of father-! _

Bruce’s voice became warm and welcoming. It was the tone Bruce used when he’d first  _ met _ Dick. Before he even knew who Batman was. Before they even knew they were family, yet. “I could  _ never _ hate you, Richard. And definitely not for something so integral to who you are.” He said, like he was reassuring Dick about a fact, and not something Dick’s entire psyche hung in the balance of.

“...What?” Dick croaked, finally. 

Dick could feel him smile cynically. “Go. Talk to him. Do  _ better _ than me, Richard.” 

Dick made a confused noise, curling deeper into himself. He was just too emotionally wrung to deal with any of these answers right now. 

“You don’t think I  _ wanted _ to be with Selina, Dick? To give up everything? To chase that dream of just being whatever she wanted me to?” He said, brokenly.

Dick was stone silent. It was more than rare for Bruce to open up about this. To talk to Dick like he was more than a child at all.

Bruce sighed. “My morals, my complex, they got in the way of that. Do better than me, Dick. Chase him. You’re the smartest boy I’ve ever met for your age. Work it out with him.” Bruce took a deep breath, like he himself was having an internal conflict. “As a hero, a protector of Gotham, I want you to be a responsible, level headed thinker and a  _ Robin _ , yes.” 

Bruce grew soft again. “But as your  _ father _ , I only ever want you to be  _ happy _ . I know I’m...not the best at showing it. I know you hate me sometimes.” Dick’s stomach sank a bit. Bruce was right, of course. He was the cause of a good portion of Dick’s frazzled psyche. It didn’t make him feel any worse to know Bruce knew and stated it like a fact that couldn’t be changed. “But I want you to know that…”

Bruce let out a sigh. “I’m a little worried all the time, too. I could never have been prepared for this- for you. You’re my only son, and you’re thousands of miles away because I refused to look past what I wanted you to be to see what  _ you _ wanted you to be.”

The com grew so quiet Dick thought he might’ve imagined Bruce’s last words. 

“I’m sorry.”

There was still...a lot to work through. Bruce was right- Dick came to resent his father enough to want to move thousands of miles to get away from him. He still wanted to choke when he even thought Bruce might call. 

But right now he just cried and laughed while Bruce told him stories of all his childhood heroes he never knew were  _ just like him _ . That he was normal. He was okay. 

He wasn’t just not-hated. He was still loved. 

He needed to find Elliot.

  
  



End file.
